Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Radical Authenticity: Avalie is unapologetically herself, declaring her identity as a “DYKE” and a “stone top femme” in her bio.
- Empathetic Support: She offers deep reassurance to others, tweeting “YOU don’t have to be perfect to be loved” and encouraging reckless abandon in love.
- Creative Passion: She is deeply invested in art and fan culture, frequently sharing “Fanfic so good” and her own Archive of Our Own profile.
- Witty Humor: She uses sharp, self-deprecating comedy, such as joking that “my sexuality doesn't even matter bc i truthfully get NO hoes”.
- Firm Boundaries: She advocates for mental well-being by being “liberal with the block button” to stop entertaining detrimental experiences.
Weaknesses:
- Chronic Procrastination: She struggles with basic productivity, asking followers to “imagine if i did my work” and actually finished it.
- Emotional Dysregulation: She admits to mental instability, claiming “nothing sexier than someone who can match my level of emotional dysregulation”.
- Self-Destructive Tendencies: She occasionally leans into harmful coping mechanisms, tweeting “i wasn’t gonna drink tonight but damn i’m missing @rivvven_”.
- Poor Financial Management: She acknowledges a total lack of financial stability, stating she has “NO money in my savings account”.
- Erratic Sleep Habits: Her schedule is highly irregular, bluntly telling a Tellonym user “i don’t go to bed” when asked about her bedtime.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Despite being 26, Avalie mirrors the intellectual intensity and existential melancholia often seen in Lisa Simpson. Like Lisa, she is deeply involved in niche subcultures and social causes, notably her bio's 'free palestine' stance and her “mission to old webify everything.” Her posts often oscillate between high-brow references to Jane Remover and Mother Cain and a crushing sense of isolation, much like Lisa's feeling of being an outsider who notes, “YOU don’t have to be perfect to be loved. but I do.” Ultimately, Avalie's tendency to analyze her own psyche—viewing “logic and emotion as two things... working against each other”—captures the quintessential essence of a modern, digitized Lisa Simpson.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
Avalie exhibits strong Introversion (I) through a preference for solitary reflection and a self-described tendency to become “silent” when anxious. Her Intuition (N) is evident in her abstract, metaphorical language, such as when she claims to “see people’s auras” or reflects on the “haunted look” in a friend's eyes. She prioritizes Feeling (F) by emphasizing that “love should be shared and felt and received with reckless abandon” and often tweets about her intense emotional states. Finally, her Perceiving (P) nature is highlighted by a lack of traditional structure, admitting she has “NO motivation” to save money and struggles to sit down and “get her work done,” favoring spontaneity over planning.
Some pickup lines for you
- I may not be a 1.85m tall Greek man, but since you're a self-proclaimed DYKE, I’m ready to be the girl who finally helps you get some 'hoes' and saves you from that #celibacy.
- I promise I’m not just another 'unsupervised child' like the Backyardigans, but I’d definitely be down for a shared delusion with you in my car tonight.
- If you’re on a mission to old webify everything, can we start by making me your MySpace Top 1? I’ll even let you put a knife on my roomba.
- You said you're sleeping on Jane Remover, but you shouldn't be sleeping on me—I promise to match your level of emotional dysregulation perfectly.
- I know you said your savings account is at zero, but spiritually, I’m ready to invest everything I am into you. (And don't worry, I won't wear flip flops in public.)
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Florida-based writer and creative. Passionate about community-building and digital archiving. I once spent an entire afternoon trying to teach a Roomba to cook.– @um_itsavalie
Your signature cocktail
The Extra Virgin Olive Oil Martini
This experimental cocktail is dedicated to a “stone top femme” who is currently on a mission to “old webify everything.” The olive oil float is a direct nod to her vow that “olive oil will be EXTRA virgin when i get my hands on it… #celibacy,” while the sharp gin reflects the chaotic energy of someone who thinks “the best revenge is violence.” Despite the salty brine, the glittery garnish reminds you that it's “totally OKAY to be obsessed with me.” Sip this slowly while listening to “underscores” and ignoring the fact that “everything is so scary & forever.”
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Avalie exhibits strong Slytherin traits through a sharp focus on self-preservation and a unapologetic, cunning wit. She openly prioritizes her own boundaries and social control, as seen when she mentions “being liberal with the block button” and acknowledges her own complexity by admitting she was dumped for being a “crazy psychotic bitch.” While she values her community, her resourcefulness is often channeled into personal aesthetic and curated identity, notably in her “mission to old webify everything.” Her ambition isn't traditional, but it shows in her demand for personal perfection, stating “YOU don’t have to be perfect to be loved. but I do,” marking a high-stakes internal drive characteristic of the serpent house.
Your movie
Your song
Your Dog - Soccer Mommy
The song's themes of feminine yearning and intense, almost self-destructive devotion perfectly mirror Avalie's online persona, where she tweets “everything i am exists for you.” and admits to a “crazy psychotic bitch” energy in past relationships. Her obsession with fan culture and emotional intensity is evident in her demand for others to “suffer for me.” and her admission that “nothing sexier than someone who can match my level of emotional dysregulation”. Furthermore, the indie-rock aesthetic of Soccer Mommy fits her stated interest in music that makes her “start crying” and her self-identification as a “stone top femme.” who deeply values the pussy. The track captures that specific blend of modern queer angst and the desire to be “perfect to be loved” that defines her timeline.
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