unholycondom
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green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Intense Affection: His constant declarations of love for his boyfriend, like 'i love my boyfriend too bad he is a fag', show a capacity for deep emotional connection.
- Vulnerable Honesty: Sharing his religious anxieties ('im scared God is angry at me') and mental health struggles demonstrates a willingness to be open about his inner turmoil.
- Identity Exploration: His reflection on his Polish and Asian heritage ('sometimes i forget im quarter asian') shows a journey of self-discovery.
- Growth-Oriented: Celebrating his growth spurt ('i DID hit my growth spurt too') suggests a desire for personal improvement.
- Passionate Interests: His desire for his boyfriend to play piano for him ('im gonna ask sasha if he can play piano for me again') indicates a love for music and shared experiences.
Weaknesses:
- Social Anxiety: His experience at the party ('i went to a party and boyfriend was there but i was to nervous to talk to him') reveals difficulty in social situations.
- Body Image Issues: Obsessing over his BMI and calorie intake ('wasting 400 cals on some stupid ramen') points to a preoccupation with his physical appearance.
- Religious Guilt: His fear of God's anger ('im scared God is angry at me') suggests a struggle with religious dogma and personal beliefs.
- Self-Harm Tendencies: The teacher asking if he cuts himself ('teacher at school deadass asked if i cut myself') raises concerns about potential self-harm.
- Insecurity: Feeling embarrassed about his height ('its embarassing when im shorter than a grown woman at my old ass age') highlights a lack of self-confidence.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Jakub shares similarities with Lisa Simpson, particularly in their shared anxieties and feelings of being misunderstood. Like Lisa, Jakub grapples with insecurities and a desire for acceptance, as seen in tweets like 'my friends always leave me out'. His occasional rants and emotional outbursts ('TWHY THE FUCK DO WE HAVE NO POATATSO') mirror Lisa's moments of frustration with the world around her. Both characters also demonstrate a strong sense of empathy and a desire to speak out about important issues, even if they fear being ridiculed ('i got go on a rant about what eating disorders really look like'). While Lisa is more academically driven, both characters share a vulnerability and a desire for connection.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
Jakub's tweets suggest he is an INFP (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving). His introversion is evident in his social anxiety ('i went to a party and boyfriend was there but i was to nervous to talk to him'). His intuition shines through in his exploration of identity and his reflections on his experiences. His feeling nature is apparent in his intense emotions and his empathy for others ('i got go on a rant about what eating disorders really look like'). His perceiving trait is shown in his openness to new experiences and his flexible approach to life. He is driven by his values and seeks authenticity in his relationships.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a cross? Because I'm lost without you and scared God is angry at me.
- Is your name Sasha? Because I need you so bad...
- Are you 0 calories? Because I need something to not make me feel hungry.
- Did you teach my boyfriend piano? Because I'm ready for my lesson.
- Are you a growth spurt? Because you've made my heart grow too.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
16 | Polish boy lost in shedtwt. Head over heels for Sasha. Recovering from religious trauma and body image issues. Will panic if you DM me. 🇵🇱– @unholycondom
Your signature cocktail
Sasha's Embrace
The "Sasha's Embrace" cocktail represents Jakub's love for his boyfriend and his emotional complexity. Vodka, representing his Polish heritage, forms the base. Blue Curaçao symbolizes his anxieties and insecurities, while cranberry juice adds a touch of sweetness and vulnerability. Lime juice provides a zesty kick, reflecting his passionate nature. Edible glitter adds a touch of whimsy and symbolizes his emerging beauty. It's a drink that captures his multifaceted personality and his deep affection for Sasha.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Jakub would likely be sorted into Hufflepuff. He values loyalty and affection, as seen in his constant declarations of love for his boyfriend ('i love him mmmphhhh'). His desire for connection and acceptance is evident in tweets like 'my friends always leave me out' and 'i need more oomfs guys follow be'. He also shows a strong sense of empathy, wanting to rant about eating disorders ('i got go on a rant about what eating disorders really look like') despite fearing ridicule. While he experiences internal struggles, his core values align with Hufflepuff's emphasis on kindness and inclusivity.
Your movie
Your song
Creep - Radiohead
Radiohead's "Creep" captures Jakub's feelings of insecurity, self-doubt, and longing for acceptance. His tweet 'my friends always leave me out' reflects the song's theme of being an outsider. The line 'I want you to notice when I'm not around' resonates with his desire for connection and attention. His struggles with body image and self-esteem ('im a midget dude like') align with the song's message of feeling inadequate. It's an anthem for those who feel different and long to be loved.
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