Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Humorous: Frequently uses self-deprecating and situational jokes, like the bathroom mishap with their boyfriend in “cheguei no dia... caguei no banheiro do meu namorado e a bosta nao desce” and the aunt–Italian fascism quip in “to começando a suspeitar que a minha tia tem ligaçao com o fascismo italiano”.
- Socially-aware: Shows concern with social issues, e.g. criticizing prejudice against the Northeast in “amam tacar pau no Nordeste...” and calling out racist behavior in “just got called a slur by a white guy”.
- Self-accepting: Openly embraces identity and growth, as in “eu sou um viado” and the before/after self-comparison in “eu no ano que me assumi // eu hoje”.
- Affectionate: Expresses love and appreciation for close ones, like “eu amo tanto os meus amigos”, affection for their boyfriend in “meu próprio namorado é o meu maior hater”, and emotional link to Brittany in “pelo menos duas vezes por dia eu penso na brittany”.
- Ambitious: Shows academic and future-oriented drive, like stressing over ENEM results in “63/90 de acordo com o extraoficial...” and celebrating getting into International Relations in “vem ai relações internacionais 2026”.
Weaknesses:
- Aggressive-language: Often resorts to insults and violent phrasing, such as “transmed tem que ser guilhotinado em praça pública” and calling someone a “fucking retard” in this quote.
- Self-destructive: Expresses suicidal and self-harm ideation, like “hihihihihihihi eu vou enfiar um estilete no meu pulso” and “eu deveria me mudar pra uma cidade nova e ensinar a mim mesmo como morrer”.
- Health-neglecting: Uses substances while downplaying risks, e.g. casual nicotine and alcohol praise in “man idk nicotine and beers are pretty awesome” and fascination with vapes in “qual que é a ciencia por trás do vape...”.
- Conflict-prone: Engages in combative interactions and callouts, as seen in “love pissing off fatherless bitches” and the harsh rant about smoking in “vc merece um tapao na cara”.
- Anxiety-ridden: Reveals strong fear and worry about social and health issues, like being afraid of not making friends at university in “medo de entrar na universidade e n conseguir fazer amigos” and fear of post-mortem abuse in “tenho medo de morrer e abusarem do meu cadáver”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They most closely match Lisa Simpson: an idealistic, politically aware overthinker who still cracks dark and absurd jokes. Like Lisa, they’re intellectually engaged and socially conscious, calling out regional prejudice and colonial history in Brazil in “amam tacar pau no Nordeste como se a região não tivesse sido a mais chacinada e oprimida no Brasil colonial…” and criticizing performative or misplaced outrage in “don't apologize for being white apologize for being a piece of shit”. They have strong opinions on ethics and politics, whether talking about smoking etiquette in “é obrigação SUA não acertar fumaça na cara dos outros… vc merece um tapao na cara” or AI and capitalism in “'ai is awesome' until it's 2070 and potable water is only accessible to the super rich fuck ai”. Like Lisa’s mix of vulnerability and resolve, they’re open about mental health and self-destructive thoughts in “hihihihihihihi eu vou enfiar um estilete no meu pulso” yet still celebrate their growth and identity in “meu eu de 2016 ficaria TAO orgulhoso de ver como a minha arte evoluiu” and “pqp como eu amo ser um homem”. Their artsy, emo, slightly pretentious vibe and moral seriousness under a layer of sarcasm and shitposting are very Lisa-coded, just aged up, queer, and extremely online.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extrovert: they frequently talk about friends and social life, like loving their friends ("eu amo tanto os meus amigos"), worrying about making friends at university ("medo de entrar na universidade e n conseguir fazer amigos"), and openly sharing personal experiences and bodily mishaps ("chegou pra mim o tao temido dia na vida de qualquer casal.. caguei no banheiro do meu namorado e a bosta nao desce"), which suggests comfort performing to an audience. Their style is strongly iNtuitive: they often discuss big-picture topics and social issues (colonial oppression of the Northeast: "amam tacar pau no Nordeste..."; AI and capitalism: "'ai is awesome' until it's 2070 and potable water is only accessible to the super rich fuck ai") rather than concrete, step‑by‑step practical details. They are clearly Feeling‑oriented: moral judgments and empathy drive their takes (on smoking near others: "vc merece um tapao na cara"; breastfeeding and sexualization: "se isso te excita, você devia no mínimo ser preso"), and even political commentary is framed in terms of harm, injustice, and respect. Their spontaneity and scattered, impulsive vibe point to Perceiving: they joke about procrastination and chaotic habits ("matematica ta destruindo a minha vida"; sudden emotional swings about ENEM results: "eu vou cagar na porta do inep"), and they bounce between topics—music, memes, politics, bodily humor—without a structured, planned tone. Altogether, this mix of expressive social energy, abstract/moral commentary, emotion‑driven judgments, and flexible, chaotic lifestyle is most consistent with ENFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- So… you’ve got a hotel booked for MCR and a slot in Relações Internacionais 2026—should I reserve us a seat in foreign affairs or in the nosebleeds screaming Helena together?
- You said you’re an ‘emo fantasmagorico’ and also ‘a viado’—lucky for me, I specialize in paranormal studies and gay rights; can I conduct some field research on you over mac n’ cheese and blueberry Red Bull?
- You’re worried about not making friends at university, but you already smoke occasionally, draw, play guitar, speak Russian, and complain about ENEM—honestly, I’m just applying to be your first approved subject in ‘Relações Internacionais (versão namoro)’.
- If you can survive ENEM, depression wiping a month of classes, and still joke about discalculia while flexing your TOEFL gold certificate, I think you’re more overpowered than any Shin Megami Tensei demon—can I be your underleveled but loyal companion?
- You hate transmeds, fascism, AI, and middle‑aged men bothering Elle Fanning, but love Jesus being brown, breastfeeding in public, and defending the Nordeste—your morals are so on point I’m ready to sign a treaty: you bring the ethics, I bring the nicotine and vibes.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Bernardo | IR student (UFPB ’26) with a soft spot for emo, MCR, and weird history facts. Once booked a hotel just for a concert months in advance.– @uraniumbrownie
Your signature cocktail
Emo Fantasmagoriquiri
The Emo Fantasmagoriquiri is a chaotic, dramatic spin on a daiquiri that matches his ghostly emo energy from the bio and tweets. The base is a mix of blueberry-vanilla energy drink and mezcal, a nod to his love of weird caffeine combos like “redbull de mirtilo e baunilha ta salvando meus dias ultimamente” and his self-aware, reckless streak in posts like “man idk nicotine and beers are pretty awesome”. Black cherry liqueur adds a sweet-but-dark emo drama vibe, in the same spirit as “eu sou um viado 🤓” and his theatrical oversharing about life, love, and bowel disasters like “chegou pra mim o tao temido dia na vida de qualquer casal.. caguei no banheiro do meu namorado e a bosta nao desce”. A dash of saline represents the tears, anxiety, and depressive humor in tweets such as “eu deveria me mudar pra uma cidade nova e ensinar a mim mesmo como morrer” and “eu so queria fumar maconha sem ter ataque de panico toda vez eu vou me matar”, giving the drink emotional depth instead of just sugar. Finally, an activated charcoal sugar rim makes it literally black and spooky to match his “emo fantasmagorico” persona and Halloween-core posts like “HAPPY HALLOWEEN!”, turning the glass into something that looks cursed, dramatic, and a little bit toxic—just like his timeline.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
They show strong Gryffindor-style moral courage and a readiness to confront what they see as injustice head‑on, even crudely, like calling out Trump with “RELEASE THE FILES @realDonaldTrump CHILD FUCKER” and defending the historical oppression of the Brazilian Northeast in “amam tacar pau no Nordeste…”. Their instinct is to fight rather than withdraw: they openly argue against anti-abortion discourse with dark sarcasm in “funny how it's always men talking about abortions, but people have never even asked about the fetuses' opinion on it” and rage at people who blow smoke on others in “é obrigação SUA não acertar fumaça na cara dos outros… vc merece um tapao na cara”. They also show a bold, sometimes reckless emotional transparency about their mental health and self‑destructive impulses, as in “hihihihihihihi eu vou enfiar um estilete no meu pulso” and “eu deveria me mudar pra uma cidade nova e ensinar a mim mesmo como morrer”, which fits Gryffindor’s dramatic, heart‑on‑sleeve nature. Even when joking, they lean into confrontational bravado—calling themselves a delinquent in “17 anos, ficha limpa (nunca me pegaram)” and relishing in pissing people off in “love pissing off fatherless bitches”. There is creativity and humor here, but their defining traits are boldness, outspokenness, and a willingness to charge straight at conflict, which are quintessentially Gryffindor.
Your movie
Your song
Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance
Their bio literally screams emo and MCR fandom — “bernardo ⚖️ VAI VER O MCR!!” and the excitement in “hotel ta reservado pro show do mcr veyyy😝😝😝😝” fits perfectly with an anthem like Welcome to the Black Parade. The song’s themes of surviving pain, depression, and growing up mirror tweets like “imagina estar no terceirão perdendo um mês inteiro de aula por causa de depressão severa” and “eu deveria me mudar pra uma cidade nova e ensinar a mim mesmo como morrer”. At the same time, they use dark humor to cope, as seen in “hihihihihihihi eu vou enfiar um estilete no meu pulso”, which aligns with the song’s melodramatic but cathartic tone. Their mix of political awareness, anger, and care about injustice (“amam tacar pau no Nordeste…”, “ai is awesome until it's 2070 and potable water is only accessible to the super rich fuck ai”) also fits MCR’s grand, defiant energy. Overall, Welcome to the Black Parade captures their emo aesthetic, their struggles, and their determination to keep going despite everything.
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