Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Persistence: He displayed dedication to a new skill by eventually “LANDING MY FIRST ROLLING OLLIE!!!” weeks after his initial attempt.
- Music Appreciation: He values physical media and deep-cuts, “Listening to CDs” and exploring beyond a band's “2 hits”.
- Social Awareness: He is conscious of political shifts and human rights, making “performative tweets” to counter conservative leanings on his timeline.
- Self-Irony: He is comfortable poking fun at his own online presence, describing his profile as “all repostslop” and himself as a bot.
- Humorous Creativity: He uses absurdism to cope with school stress, such as imagining his “Spanish teacher DEADASS just astral projected” into his room.
Weaknesses:
- Impulsivity: He suffers from a lack of foresight, nearly having “A HEART ATTACK” after mixing up tablespoons and teaspoons.
- Academic Disengagement: He struggles with school attendance and focus, “waking up at 10:40 on a school day” and dreaming about social media in class.
- Digital Overconsumption: He admits to a lifestyle of “doomscrolling on IG” and constant reposting to the point of being flagged as a bot.
- Social Paranoia: He expresses anxiety about being “blocked” and obsesses over who “unfollowed” him.
- Task Procrastination: He attempts to complete massive projects at the last minute, like trying to “beat ALL of Arkham Knight in just a day”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
@vanderbilt96047 perfectly embodies Bart Simpson’s blend of adolescent rebellion, skateboarding culture, and constant meta-irony. Much like Bart, this user is a 15-year-old troublemaker who celebrates milestones like “LANDED MY FIRST ROLLING OLLIE!!!” and dreams of minor delinquency, such as wanting to “steal the '$200 fine for skateboarding' sign”. They share a mutual disdain for school authority, specifically their Spanish teacher, and often post self-deprecating humor about their own behavior, admitting “I'm just such a chudddddd aren't I”. Ultimately, their persona as a self-described Catboy Franklin Pierce matches Bart’s chaotic energy and his tendency to adopt bizarre, short-lived alter egos.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
Franklin exhibits Introversion through a preference for solitary hobbies like gaming and skating, noted when they ask “Who do I even tweet to”. Their Intuition is evident in their surreal humor and abstract interests, such as faking their death to move to China or wondering if “narcissistic homosexuals jerk off to pictures of themselves”. As a Feeling type, they prioritize personal values and emotional authenticity, exemplified by their “performative” political post to align their timeline with their morals. Finally, their Perceiving nature shows in a chaotic, spontaneous lifestyle, from oversleeping on school days to their frequent, indecisive account rebrands.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you my first rolling ollie? Because I’ve been falling for you all day, but I think I finally landed it.
- I promise I’m not like your Spanish teacher—I won’t astral project into your room, but I’d definitely like to join your FYP.
- Is your name DAMN.? Because you’re definitely #1 on my Wrapped this year, even if Kendrick is a close second.
- Forget the $200 fine—I’d risk a life sentence just to help you steal that skateboarding sign.
- You said you like the 14th President, so how about we make like Franklin Pierce and stay in the White House all night? Nya or some shit idk.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Aspiring Seattle skater and Batman enthusiast. Once mistook a tablespoon for a teaspoon in my coffee and nearly met my maker. Transitioning from railroads to rock.– @vanderbilt96047
Your signature cocktail
The $200 Skate Fine
This drink captures the chaotic energy of a 15-year-old skater who once claimed “Coffee is one of mankind's worst creations bro holy shittttt”. The espresso represents that caffeine-induced panic, while the milk tea reflects a k-pop and anime-influenced palate, specifically for when they're “listening to CDs instead of just leaving them to collect dust”. The sour apple nods to their love for the “best month of the year” and seasonal treats, while the bitters represent the teenage angst of being “called a f@ggot for the first time today”. It is topped with silver glitter to match their “Christmas pfp” and general catboy aesthetic.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
vanderbilt96047 displays classic Gryffindor impulsivity and a budding hero complex, notably claiming to be “the hero Seattle needs” and expressing a desire to “steal the '$200 fine for skateboarding' sign”. Their bravery is often tied to social justice and standing up for beliefs, as seen in their “performative tweets” meant to flush out a conservative timeline or their pride in being “called a f@ggot for the first time”. This boldness is further evidenced by a physical commitment to new skills, like “LANDED MY FIRST ROLLING OLLIE!!!”, despite the inherent risk of injury. Ultimately, their loud, filterless commentary on authority and identity perfectly aligns with the house of the brave and the reckless.
Your movie
Your song
Basket Case - Green Day
This song perfectly captures @vanderbilt96047’s 15-year-old angst, interest in the band, and frequent tweets about anxiety and mental states. They explicitly mentioned their hope that a friend “ends up like me” regarding their Green Day obsession, while often questioning their own sanity with tweets like “Is twitter bugging or am I”. The lyrics about over-analyzing everything resonate with their confusion over social interactions, such as when they admitted, “I lowk wish people would make a big deal out of blocking me I kinda wanna know what I did wrong”. Additionally, the song’s themes of boredom and frustration align with their school life, exemplified by the declaration “God I hate my Spanish teacher”. Ultimately, the track’s fast-paced, pop-punk energy mirrors their chaotic posting style and skating hobby.
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