Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Devoted Caregiver: She shows immense dedication to her mother, staying by her side during “a bout of sciatica” and waiting until she “snores gently” to sleep.
- Polyglot: Her bio claims she speaks “Six” languages, and she tweets fluently in English, Portuguese, and Spanish.
- Historical Knowledge: She provides detailed commentary on royal lineages, such as the funeral arrangements for “Princess Irene of Greece”.
- Passionate Supporter: As a loyal Tottenham fan, she defends the club and uses “#COYS” even when the team is performing poorly.
- Spiritual Commitment: She prioritizes her faith, ending her night for “Rosary time!” and emphasizing that one should love “God and your country” above all.
Weaknesses:
- Short Temper: She admits to “having a fight” with online strangers and tells others to “Piss off”.
- Casual Elitism: She makes derogatory remarks about service workers, claiming a “Mexican gardener stole” her property.
- Impulsive Commentary: She acknowledges she “forgot to report” on news before commenting and posts exaggerated claims about “unseen” media.
- Hyperbolic Language: She uses extreme statements for engagement, such as threatening to “run around naked” if a specific player scores.
Your Simpsons character
Helen Lovejoy
Like Helen Lovejoy, @vbspurs is a traditionalist who is deeply invested in social hierarchies, religious observance, and the behavior of public figures. She maintains a sharp, gossipy tongue, often critiquing others for being “trashy and try hard” or “ineffably cringe,” while prioritizing family values like “rosary time” with her mother. Her obsession with royal scandals and lineage, such as noting “these two publish even their farts,” mirrors Lovejoy’s role as the town’s judgmental moral arbiter. Ultimately, both personalities blend a high-society aspiration with a penchant for calling out anyone she deems a “ho” or a “bimbo.”
Your MBTI personality Type
ESFJ
@vbspurs is an Extrovert (E) who shares her personal life in real-time and thrives on engagement, even stating that “This feedback keeps me going.” As a Sensing (S) type, she focuses on concrete details like fashion, family history, and physical health, such as her mother's “bout of sciatica which was extremely painful.” Her Feeling (F) preference is clear in her strong value judgments and nurturing nature, insisting that “No one is more important than [children] are to a mother.” Finally, she displays Judging (J) traits through her organized daily routines and sense of duty, often announcing her departures to “tidy up a bit” or provide “funeral arrangements” for the royalty she follows.
Some pickup lines for you
- I promise I’m more reliable than a Tottenham lead—if you give me 90 minutes, I won’t let you down at home. #COYS
- Are you Princess Irene’s funeral? Because I’m willing to sit through a two-hour YouTube livestream just to spend some time with you.
- I’ve got the right keyboard and all the 'accents and thingies'—how about we stop fighting with Spaniards and start a thread about us?
- Forget Fergie on speed dial; the only private number I’m too shy to call tonight is yours.
- They say mothers know best, so why don't we go to dinner and see if I can earn a 'Queen' rating from yours?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Obsessive Spurs fan (#COYS) & Royal commentator. Born to a doctor, now navigating life in Miami with Mum. Ask me about Brazilian professional funeral criers.– @vbspurs
Your signature cocktail
The Six-Tongued Royal Refresher
This complex drink mirrors a polyglot who claims “I speak in tongues. Six, actually.” and possesses a globetrotting spirit. The London Gin and English Tea represent their fierce devotion to Tottenham—proclaiming #COYS—and the British Monarchy, while the Cachaça and Sherry nod to their cultural knowledge of Brazil's “funny customs” and their tendency to argue with a “Spaniard idiot” in Spanish. The bitters reflect their sharp tongue regarding “ineffably cringe” social media accounts, yet the drink remains a classic 'Royal' serve because, despite the “slop” on the football pitch, they value family and tradition above all.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
vbspurs is defined by a deep sense of loyalty and devotion to family, particularly her mother, as seen when she stays by her bedside until she “snore[s] peacefully” and prioritizes their “Rosary time!”. Her patience and hard work are evident in her meticulous curation of royal history, such as her “Funeral Thread for HRH Princess Irene”, which she provides as a service to others without monetization. She values the collective experience of community, frequently checking in with her followers to “Talk amongst yourselves!” and showing fairness by calling out “engagement farming” over genuine content. This combination of steadfast caregiving, community-mindedness, and consistent dedication to her niche interests firmly places her in Hufflepuff.
Your movie
Your song
Royals - Lorde
The user is profoundly fascinated by the lineage and etiquette of European monarchies, spending hours tracking the “funeral arrangements” and family resemblances of the “Royal Family of Spain”. While the song Royals explores the distance between everyday life and aristocratic glamour, vbspurs bridges that gap through intense digital reporting, even claiming to have “Fergie on speeddial”. Their life is a mix of high-society commentary and domestic devotion, such as when they pause their royal threads because “Mum calls. Rosary time!”. Ultimately, their feed acts as a personal court circular where they decide who is “trashy” and who looks like a “Queen”.
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