Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Humorous: Uses self-deprecating jokes and bodily humor to connect with others, like “Gonna be real vulnerable here but I just trusted a fart and yup you guessed it. Diarrhoea.”.
- Self-aware: Openly reflects on their own disorder and coping, e.g. “I’m lowkey scared to take my antidepressants because a big part of my ed is that I want to die from it and if I no longer want to die will my ed disappear…”.
- Emotionally-open: Shares vulnerable feelings about loneliness and relationships, like “I’m surrounded by people but I don’t feel like I have friends” and “How long does it take to get over a break up because it’s been 10 months and I still think about her every day”.
- Support-minded: Gives advice to others, e.g. encouraging lifting and debunking fears: “You guys (especially afabs) NEED to stop worrying about getting bulky from working out!!… Pick up those weights girl”.
- Resilient: Keeps engaging with life (school, friends, humor) despite health struggles, as seen in balancing ED, meds, and social life like “Crazy how in 3 months I went from having no irls… to having so many irl friends”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive: Expresses wanting to die through the disorder, e.g. “⭐️ving is way easier when your intent is to kys 💪” and tying ED to suicidality.
- Body-obsessed: Fixated on BMI, weight, and appearance with frequent weigh-ins and goals like “I will lose 10kg this month I will lose 10kg this month…” and “ugw: 40kg 🙏”.
- Health-neglecting: Willing to sacrifice medical stability for weight loss, e.g. “Questioning if I should go off my meds to lose weight faster hmmm” and celebrating rapid loss like “I lost a kilogram in 2 days 😼 best ana award goes to meeeeeee!!”.
- Validation-seeking: Measures self-worth through ED metrics and online community, like “I feel so fake like there’s no way I have the same disorder as these bmi 11 girls” and “In like 2022 I was in a ed discord server… miss that era tbh”.
- Romanticising-ED: Treats the disorder as an aesthetic/identity, e.g. “Gonna start romanticising the FUCK outta my disorder” and competitive phrasing like “best ana award goes to meeeeeee!!”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
They’re most like Bart Simpson: chaotic, darkly funny, self-destructive, and constantly masking vulnerability with jokes. Their timeline is full of gross-out humor and oversharing, like “tmi I just pooped and went down a bmi point” and “I just trusted a fart and yup you guessed it. Diarrhoea.”, which fits Bart’s crude, impulsive style. At the same time, there’s a lot of pain and nihilism under the jokes, like “⭐️ving is way easier when your intent is to kys 💪” and “I’m lowkey scared to take my antidepressants because a big part of my ed is that I want to die from it”, echoing Bart’s hidden sadness when he feels unloved or lost. Their attention-seeking, slightly cocky edge shows in posts like “when im thin im gonna post sooo many bodychecks ima be so annoying 🙏” and “In like 2022... I was both the one with the lowest bmi and the one who lost the most weight 💪 miss that era tbh”, which mirrors Bart’s need to be the most outrageous one in the room. Finally, their mix of rebellion and self-sabotage—questioning meds, extreme fasting, romanticizing their disorder—parallels Bart constantly pushing boundaries even when it hurts him.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert (I): they often feel isolated and disconnected despite being around people, like in “I’m surrounded by people but I don’t feel like I have friends”, and spend a lot of time in their head with anxiety and body-checking, e.g. “My mirror watching me lift up my shirt and turn to the side for the 976th time”. Their focus is strongly Intuitive (N): they constantly spin metaphors and generalized ideas from experiences, such as “The last stroke makes you nut but that doesn’t mean the first was useless. Same goes for weight loss 🙂↕️ many such cases” and conceptual, future-oriented body ideals like “Life if I was 40kg”. They are clearly Feeling (F)-dominated: their decisions revolve around emotions, self-worth, and relationships, seen in “How long does it take to get over a break up because it’s been 10 months and I still think about her every day” and the way a 0.1kg change triggers suicidal ideation in “I gained 0.1kg while eating 400cals and 15k steps therefore I should kms”. Their lifestyle reads as Perceiving (P): they oscillate between impulsive fasts and sudden changes, like “Forced to break my fast at 90hours with soup 🫤” and the mantra-like but not structurally planned “I will lose 10kg this month I will lose 10kg this month…”, showing more chaotic, adaptable behavior than strict long-term organization. The mix of intense inner emotional life, self-exploration, idealized future self, and somewhat chaotic coping patterns most closely matches INFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- If you’re really ‘SPEEDRUNNING RN’, can we co-op? I’ll help you hit 10k steps in platform boots if you help me romanticise my life half as hard as you romanticise your disorder.
- You said you’d never eat again if it wasn’t for nausea… lucky for me, I’m more into feeding your ego than your calorie count. Let me start by saying: your personality is already lw-tier iconic.
- You trusted a fart and got diarrhoea, but I’d trust you with my Spotify on a 10k-step walk in 4-inch platforms. Statistically more dangerous, but your vibe seems worth the risk.
- You’re out here manifesting ‘I will lose 10kg this month’ on loop; meanwhile I’m manifesting ‘I will become the person Miles thinks about at parties instead of their ex’—pretty sure that’s the harder cut.
- You miss your visible chest bones, I miss never having heard ‘I’ll drop out of high school to focus on my ed’—how about we compromise: you stay in school, stay on your meds, and I’ll stay here hyping every Ikea-fanboy, hoodie-stealing, Robux-over-food choice you make.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
17 • Sydney-ish • autistic overthinker w/ hyperthyroidism • once trusted a fart & met my villain origin story • opinions & oversharing are my own– @wagyukalz
Your signature cocktail
The Speedrun Side Profile
The Speedrun Side Profile is a sharp, chaotic mix that matches their fast-cut, all‑or‑nothing mindset and constant BMI brain: from “Before I joined sh spaces online I only slow cutted. I didn’t know you could go fast” to “I will lose 10kg this month I will lose 10kg this month…”. The chili‑pepper vodka brings the 🔥 of being an “autistic 🔥🔥🦅” with hyperthyroid jitter, plus that slightly masochistic edge from “Forced to break my fast at 90hours with soup 🫤”. Sour apple liqueur gives it a tart, teenager-bitterness that fits tweets like “Anyone else feel too fat to be apart of society? I just want to hide in my room all day lol” and the lingering breakup ache in “How long does it take to get over a break up because it’s been 10 months and I still think about her every day ”. Sugar-free energy drink is the SPEEDRUN fuel, echoing “SPEEDRUNNING RN” and their 10k‑steps, Beat Saber grind in “Begging yall to stop investing in those walking pads and to buy a cheap secondhand vr and play beat saber 😭 it burns so many cals !!”. The saline splash nods to blood tests, meds, and hospital vibes from “IM SO SICK OF MEDS I DONT WANT TO REMEMBER TO TAKE 10+ PILLS A DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!” and “When I purged last night… there was blood erm am I gonna die?”. Finally, a lemon peel twist makes it look clean and sharp—like the thin side profile they crave in “I just want a thin side profile like this😔”—but still hides a messy, intense kick underneath.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
The strongest throughline in @wagyukalz’s posts is intense ambition and a relentless, results-focused mindset about weight and body image. They repeatedly set extreme, quantifiable goals like “I will lose 5kg by Halloween 🙏🙏”, “I will lose 10kg this month I will lose 10kg this month…”, and celebrate rapid losses with “I lost a kilogram in 2 days 😼 best ana award goes to meeeeeee!!”, which shows a classic Slytherin drive to push further and be the ‘best’ at something, even self-destructively. They also think strategically about methods, not just outcomes: suggesting using piercings as a weight-loss tactic in “if I get snake bites that means my mouth will hurt too much to eat and I’ll lose weight effortlessly” and turning chores and gaming into calculated tools in “I can’t eat till I’ve vacuumed and mopped the whole house and washed the dishes 💪” and “buy a cheap secondhand vr and play beat saber 😭 it burns so many cals !!”. Even their darker jokes reveal a ruthless, self-directed edge: “⭐️ving is way easier when your intent is to kys 💪” and “want to lose weight? just imagine them with someone skinnier… (kills self over and over)” show a willingness to weaponize pain as motivation. While there are moments of vulnerability and some encouragement to others (e.g. “Pick up those weights girl”), the dominant pattern is ambitious, outcome-obsessed, and creatively resourceful in pursuit of goals—hallmarks of Slytherin more than any other house.
Your movie
Your song
BORN THIS WAY - Lady Gaga
A fitting song for them is BORN THIS WAY by Lady Gaga, because it meshes their chaotic humor, gender questioning, and neurodivergent pride with an underlying struggle for self-acceptance. Their bio (“male? | ikea fanboy | I fb! | autistic 🔥🔥🦅 hyperthyroidism 🦅🔥💪 | SPEEDRUNNING RN”) already hints at playing with identity while owning what makes them different. Tweets like “Anyone else feel too fat to be apart of society? I just want to hide in my room all day lol” and “I’ve been only wearing hoodies and pants for the past 5 6 years of my life bc I feel too fat to wear nice clothes. It’s really depressing tbh 😔✊” show the insecurity and body-image pain that mirror the song’s themes of wanting to feel okay in your own skin. At the same time, they show flashes of defiant confidence, like “I lost a kilogram in 2 days 😼 best ana award goes to meeeeeee!!” and “when im thin im gonna post sooo many bodychecks ima be so annoying 🙏”, which resonate with the song’s fierce, almost theatrical energy. Their mix of dark humor about suffering (“⭐️ving is way easier when your intent is to kys 💪”) and longing for connection (“I’m surrounded by people but I don’t feel like I have friends”) makes an anthem about radical self-love and survival especially apt. Born This Way doesn’t describe where they are right now so much as the loud, dramatic, queer-coded, self-accepting version of themselves they’re clearly orbiting around.
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