Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Social Justice Advocate: Eli consistently stands up against "blatant fetishization" of trans characters and "harassing and targeting black people".
- Empathetic: He admits to being "too sensitive for sports" because he feels sad for the losing team.
- Principled: He maintains clear boundaries regarding his values, stating he will "100% block any oomfs" who use derogatory rhetoric like "too woke."
- Self-Aware: He is willing to admit when he was wrong, such as having "egg on my face" after learning about the negative effects of AI chatbots.
- Loyal Friend: Eli shows appreciation for his friends' families, like supporting his "friend’s mom" who worked on movie prosthetics.
Weaknesses:
- Aggressive Communication: He frequently uses hostile language, such as suggesting we should "hit people like this over the head with shovels".
- Low Frustration Tolerance: He reacts to video game bugs with extreme anger, hoping a company's "hq explodes" over currency issues.
- Judgmental Nature: He admits to judging others' "character based on the choices" they make in Kingdom Hearts.
- Hyperbolic Negativity: He tends to use extreme insults for minor disagreements, calling people a "human swamp" or "actual massive idiot".
- Gatekeeping Tendencies: He threatens to "ghost" long-term friends over differing opinions on movies like Killer Klowns.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Eli mirrors Lisa Simpson through his combination of fierce social activism and niche intellectual elitism within his various fandoms. Much like Lisa’s vocal stance on ethics, Eli uses his platform to “wish y’all could be normal about canonical trans woman characters” and frequently calls out people he deems “actual massive idiots”. His bio admits that “all I do is yap and yell,” reflecting Lisa’s tendency to lecture others on topics ranging from media literacy to social justice. Despite his high-minded critiques, he remains deeply embedded in the pop culture he analyzes, oscillating between being “deeply haunted” by his own past and aggressively judging others for their “atrocious takes.”
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
Eli exhibits Extroversion through an outward focus on community discourse and a self-described persona that “all I do is yap and yell.” His Intuition is evident in his focus on abstract fandom tropes, character interpretations, and the social ramifications of “ai chatbots and it giving children literal psychosis.” Despite his bluntness, he leads with Feeling, making value-based judgments on social justice, ethics, and his emotional sensitivity, noting he is “way too sensitive for sports” because he feels sad for the losing team. Finally, his Perceiving nature shows in a spontaneous, multifandom lifestyle where he “don’t care how much propaganda there is” regarding popular opinions, preferring to follow his own shifting interests and whims.
Some pickup lines for you
- I promise I’m nothing like those insufferable Little Caesars fans—I’ll always pick up Dominos for our date nights.
- Are you a Markiplier tutorial? Because I could listen to you talk about anything for hours and still want a sequel.
- I’d never be an embarrassment to the player base, but I'd definitely let you kiting me around my heart all day in Identity V.
- If we were playing Mario Kart, I’d let you be the Shy Guy to my magnet—I'm naturally drawn to everything you yap about.
- Forget Jeankasa or Eren; I’m just trying to make sure our own personal 'endgame' is the only canon that matters.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
21 | Media critic & gaming enthusiast. When I’m not analyzing anime canon or Identity V mechanics, I’m likely debating why Domino’s beats Little Caesars.– @weepyeater
Your signature cocktail
The Yelling Tulip
This drink captures Eli’s high-energy persona as someone who admits “All I do is yap and yell”. The floral sweetness of the hibiscus reflects his “new layout bc Amo and her tulip are so cute”, but it's quickly cut by a bitter tonic because he's a professional hater who thinks “Little Caesars is nasty” and “Tokyo Revengers was boring from day 1”. The explosive Pop Rocks rim mirrors his aggressive gaming style, like wanting to “white boy punch my walls over idv”. Finally, the strong finish honors his bold shipping takes, reminding everyone that at the end of the day “Jeankasa is canon”.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Eli embodies the Gryffindor traits of outspokenness and a confrontational sense of justice, often "yapping and yelling" to stand up for his beliefs. He demonstrates classic impulsivity and a lack of filter, stating, “If a customer is talking to you crazy, BEAT THEIR ASS‼️” and threatening to “ghost” long-term friends over minor media disagreements. His bravery is channeled through a blunt, "take-no-prisoners" social attitude, such as when he promises to “100% block any oomfs” who express views he deems "too woke." Ultimately, his tendency to “white boy punch my walls” over game frustrations highlights the fiery, reactive temperament typical of a Lion.
Your movie
Your song
People You Know - Selena Gomez
Eli’s digital presence is defined by a cycle of intense fandom engagement followed by immediate, aggressive social boundary-setting. He is incredibly quick to 'drop' or block anyone who crosses his personal or moral lines, stating, “If we’re friends for 10 years and you let it slip that you don’t like Killer Klowns then you’re getting dropped and ghosted”. This habit of turning 'oomfs' into strangers is reflected in his warning that he “will 100% block any oomfs that say ‘too woke’”. Despite being a self-described 'yapper' who seeks community in various fandoms, he often finds himself frustrated by the very people he interacts with, lamenting that “some oomfs be retweeting the most atrocious takes”. This song perfectly captures his reality of navigating a high-turnover social circle where yesterday's mutuals become today's blocked accounts.
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