Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally honest: Openly shares feelings about suicidality and stress, e.g. “I’m genuinely so close to relapsing I can’t stop just feeling so suicidal and like such a fucking failure.”
- Caring partner: Shows deep affection and support for partner, e.g. “My partner is finally back to school… apparently tried khs… is now being taken to their psychologist or smth :(” and “I HAVE THIS !!! My partner meows back at me and lets me regress near them… I’ve never been happier”
- Self-aware: Reflects on own identity and issues, e.g. “Idk what my sexuality is atp… I get terrified and disappointed” and “I’m too young to be having to deal with all of this shit… I’m dooming all of it with these horrible disorders”
- Humorous expressive: Uses humor and vivid language even in tough topics, e.g. “I feel like either a deer or a horse omg apples are so yummy(´∇｀)” and “I am an armpit and scent lover bru🤤… Infact im against deforestation♥️”
- Loyal friend: Worries about and comforts friends despite own problems, e.g. “friend prolly needs surgery to untwist his balls, bf tried attempting, I lost my AirPods, had to comfort my ex cause she didn’t get groomed”
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive: Actively pursues self-harm and suicidal behaviors, e.g. “Last time I able to cut myself to very baby beans I took 18 ibuprofens so imma try replicating that again” and “As suicidal as I am I don’t think I can actually see myself k¡lling myself?”
- Body-obsessed: Fixates on weight and thinspo, e.g. “I hate that I’m posting this but can someone estimate bmi / weight for her She’s so perfect” and “I’ve let myself go so much… I used to be at my gw and now I’m close to my sw I’m going to kms”
- Risk-seeking: Engages or jokes about risky exchanges and behaviors, e.g. “Just a heads up I’d do some shit for some Robux or gift cards lwk.. saying this both to weirdos and for Christmas ideas….”
- Boundary issues: Struggles with unhealthy or intrusive relationships, e.g. “Bro dms this at lunch… ‘I’m watching you… to protect you from evil’… Alright man whatever u say..” and staying tied to exes who also sh in “Chat maybe don’t text ur ex who also sh… that you got a new blade.”
- Academic avoidance: Avoids or neglects schoolwork due to stress, e.g. “I’m genuinely so close to relapsing… Ik im gonna fail my exams I haven’t done like any of my assignments” and “I love procrastination cuz why am I making cookies instead of doing my study guides I need for exams tomorrow lmao?”
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They most closely match Lisa Simpson: introspective, intelligent, and struggling with big emotions at a young age. Like Lisa, they’re dealing with heavy mental-health concerns and suicidal ideation while still a kid, openly reflecting on this in posts like “I’m too young to be having to deal with all of this shit. Genuinely I still have my whole life to go through and I’m dooming all of it with these horrible disorders and mental illnesses what.” and “As suicidal as I am I don’t think I can actually see myself k¡lling myself?”. There’s also a sharp self-awareness about academics and burnout that fits Lisa’s overtaxed gifted-kid vibe, like “I’m genuinely so close to relapsing… Ik im gonna fail my exams I haven’t done like any of my assignments im falling asleep in class I NEED to cut myself right fucking now.”. Their complicated relationship with identity and gender/sexuality, shown in “Idk what my sexuality is atp, I say Im a lesbian/nmlnm but transmasc, tboys, tmen are hot…”, echoes Lisa’s tendency to question norms and search for who she is. Even their mix of idealism and frustration toward family, like “I truly hope she gains 40 pounds… you are like 40 why are you projecting onto an insecure teen?”, mirrors how Lisa loves her family but is often hurt and angered by them.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert: they often feel overwhelmed by people and retreat online to process their feelings, like when they say “I’m too young to be having to deal with all of this shit. Genuinely I still have my whole life to go through and I’m dooming all of it with these horrible disorders and mental illnesses”, and describe ghosting their main account because their ex watches every post “I might start ghosting my main acc for a while and use this acc more cuz… that makes my lwk uncomfortable”. They appear Intuitive: they quickly move from concrete events to inner symbolism and fantasy, like projecting complex inner states onto characters and ships “I can’t tell if I want to bully that soaked anxious boy or… kiss his lil wet face and cradle him I love you waterboy I need that shaking stuttering mess” and crafting elaborate yumesonas and headcanons “my yumesona / self insert is the same mf in every universe… BRO IS JUST WHAT I WANT TO BE AFTER I TRANSITION AND WITH DIFFERENT TRAUMA”. The strong emotional language and focus on hurt, relationships, and validation suggests Feeling over Thinking: they react from wounded values and feelings rather than detached analysis, as in “Ykw with all the shit uve put me through… Ur the reason I started cutting myself… I hope you kys you attention seekeing cunt” and the guilt/empathy around friends who self-harm “Chat maybe don’t text ur ex who also sh… that you got a new blade. ☹️☹️”. Their lifestyle reads as Perceiving: they procrastinate and act impulsively rather than following structured plans, e.g. “I love procrastination cuz why am I making cookies instead of doing my study guides I need for exams tomorrow lmao?” and the spontaneous decisions around self-harm and food like “I want to eat so bad but ig since im too fat to fit in a large I’m gonna starve till school lunch”. Overall, an emotionally intense, imaginative inner world, idealization of characters/partners, and reactive, unstructured coping fit INFP better than other types.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said your yumesona is just what you wanna be after you transition with different trauma—can I apply to be the canon event where you actually get soft, happy lore for once?
- You sleeping with the window cracked to feel like a Victorian boy in an alleyway is so real, but I think we should upgrade the AU: same cold wind, same dramatic vibes, except you’re using me as a space heater.
- You called yourself a deer/puppy who regresses and meows, and also tape your chest to feel free—if I promise to use the right name and pronouns, can I be the one who pets your hair and tells you that you’re perfect at any size, even when Monster and apples are your entire food pyramid?
- You saying Robert overexercises and bruises himself as an angsty teen hc is wild, because I’m over here self-shipping us: you, me, and a future where the only thing we’re scratching up is character meta and not our own skin.
- You joked about doing stuff for Robux and gift cards, but I’m more old-fashioned—how about I pay you in warm hugs, validation, and a lifetime subscription to someone actually listening when you rant about Andrew-from-Spanish-class and whatever hyperfixation has you shaking like a chihuahua today?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
River • he/it • student running on Monsters, yume brainrot & questionable sleep. Once fell asleep in the car and woke up exactly at the destination.– @wh1tetailangel
Your signature cocktail
The Deer-in-Headlights Highball
This cocktail is wired but wobbly, like running on fumes and impulsive fixations, powered by a base of White Monster and fizz to mirror their plan to survive mornings on energy drinks instead of food: “Might have a white monster in first or second period”. Green apple liqueur and peanut-butter syrup nod to their nightly ritual and self-described deer vibes: “I’ve been eating 1 2 apples and like a tablespoon of peanut butter every night… I feel like either a deer or a horse omg”. The sea salt and citrus bitters add a bracing sting that reflects their sharp, exhausted honesty about school, gender, and attraction, from worrying over sexuality to crushing on nerdy boys and tall classmates: “tboys, tmen are hot and some cisboys… but the second i remember theyre cisguys I get terrified and disappointed” and “Tall asf hottie in my Spanish class w long hair… he talks like a nerd too he’s so fine”. A blood-red hibiscus drizzle runs down the glass as a stylized, safe echo of their shtwt world and fixation on visible hurt and scars, channeling that darkness into aesthetics instead of action: “I want SELFharm scars not just scars I wanna feel like I am ill enough and have the shit to prove it” and “My bedsheets have little blood and healing liquid splotches all over it cuz I left my new cut uncovered all night and day”. Overall it’s a chaotic, experimental drink—sweet but stinging, pretty yet a little concerning—matching a kid who jokes about sh and thinspo while still clinging to affection, regressy puppy-love, and yume fantasies: “I HAVE THIS !!! My partner meows back at me and lets me regress near them and lick them and calls me puppy I’ve never been happier” and “I’m genuinely so buns.. my yumesona / self insert is the same mf in every universe… BRO IS JUST WHAT I WANT TO BE AFTER I TRANSITION”.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
They show strong Hufflepuff traits of loyalty, care, and emotional devotion to others. They talk about their partner with open affection, saying things like “My partner is finally back to school… I’ve never been happier” and “I love my pookster sm she’s such a sweetheart to me♥️♥️♥️”, which highlights deep attachment and warmth. Even while overwhelmed, they prioritize supporting others, describing a day where they were exhausted yet still “had to comfort my ex cause she didn’t get groomed”, showing a tendency to put others’ feelings first. They also value small, cozy comforts and routines—like food, sleep, cuddling, and sensory experiences—as seen in “I’ve been eating 1 2 apples… I feel like either a deer or a horse omg apples are so yummy” and “then we cuddled and fell asleep together<33”, which fits Hufflepuff’s earthy, comfort-seeking nature. While they struggle heavily with self-worth and self-harm, their core orientation is toward relationships, affection, and being there for others—in classic Hufflepuff fashion.
Your movie
Your song
Teen Idle - MARINA
A song that best suits @wh1tetailangel is Teen Idle by MARINA, because it captures self-destructive urges, messy adolescence, and feeling like a ‘failed’ teen. They talk openly about cutting and wanting visible scars to prove how ill they feel, like in “Lin is telling me I should recover & if I want scars to wait till 18 to get scarification done professionally but I dont wanna I want SELFharm scars not just scars I wanna feel like I am ill enough and have the shit to prove it”, which mirrors the song’s fixation on suffering as proof of depth. Their suicidal ideation and methodical thoughts in “As suicidal as I am I don’t think I can actually see myself k¡lling myself? Like hanging is painful, cutting is too messy, jumping can traumatize strangers, drowning is scary, OD could work but what if it’s not enough to kill me..” resonate with the lyrics about wanting to die young and romanticizing death. The song’s blend of dark humor and melodrama fits tweets like “Last time I able to cut myself to very baby beans I took 18 ibuprofens so imma try replicating that again will update as the night goes”, where serious self-harm is described in a casual, almost performative way. Finally, Teen Idle’s themes of body image and feeling wrong in your own skin connect to their posts about weight and dysphoria, such as “I’ve let myself go so much oh my god I just remembered I used to be at my gw and now I’m close to my sw I’m going to kms” and “Taped my chest for the first time in like half a year and holy shit I forgot how it felt to be free”.
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