Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally honest: Openly shares distress and suicidal thoughts in tweets like “I am going to kill myself I just don't know when”, showing willingness to be real about feelings.
- Seeking connection: Actively looks for friends, e.g. “Anyone want to be my friend? #shedtwt #shtwt #edtwt” and anxiety about new friends replying on Snapchat.
- Protective boundaries: Calls out inappropriate behavior, like “Can random people in my DMS stop asking for nudes 😭 You're not gonna get that shit”, and has a DNI in bio.
- Self-awareness: Clearly distinguishes depression from laziness in “Lazy vs depressed and suicidal are two different things people 😉” and recognizes school’s impact on sleep and eating.
- Caring friend: Wants to reach out to others who seem lonely, like “There's a girl in my tutor class I might ask her if she wants to be my friend… She seems nervous and lonely”.
Weaknesses:
- Chronic suicidality: Frequent, concrete suicidal statements such as “I should just kill myself already” and “I am going to kill myself I just don't know when”.
- Self-hatred: Repeatedly expresses intense self-loathing in tweets like “I hate myself so much that I truly believe everyone in my life hates me as much as I hate myself” and “I hate myself”.
- Self-harm dependence: Uses cutting as a go-to coping method, e.g. “Going to go cut myself though 😍 and then sleep i guess” and “I needdddd to cut myself rn”.
- Disordered coping: Relies on purging, restriction, and alcohol to cope, such as “Time to purge Whiskey, monster, and buldak noodles” and “If alcohol didn't have calories I'd be dead by now”.
- Academic pressure: Ties self-worth and survival to grades in tweets like “I am 100% going to kill myself if I fail school this year this isn't a negotiable this is just fact” and “if I don't pass I'm killing myself”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
The account most closely matches Lisa Simpson, especially a darker, more depressed version of her. Lisa is bright, overthinks everything, and feels alienated at school, similar to this user worrying about social interactions and friendships, like when they say they might ask a lonely girl to be their friend and overanalyze responses: “Maybe my new friend fucking hates me and wants me to die and that's why she read my message and didn't respond”. Like Lisa’s frequent conflict with her parents, this user has intense tension at home, for example: “Does my mum know that if she keeps screaming in my face everyday I'm going to kill myself 😹😹😹😹” and “My parents are always fucking yelling at me Motherfucker if you keep yelling there's a possibility I will shoot myself in the face”. Lisa often feels crushing pressure around school and expectations, echoing tweets like “The only reason I'm doing my school work is so I don't fail this year of school and my exams Because if I don't pass I'm killing myself 🤞”. Underneath the self-hate and dark humor, there is still a desire for connection and kindness—asking if anyone wants to be their friend and worrying about others who seem lonely—which fits Lisa’s underlying empathy and wish to belong.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert (I): although they crave friends and connection, their social anxiety is intense and they avoid or dread in‑person interaction, e.g. “I'm not going to school today I'll probably start crying like a stupid little bitch” and “Is it weird to ask a guy for his Instagram if you've only met him once and that was for an hour 😬 I wanna be his friend”. Their world is very internally focused on feelings, meaning, and identity rather than external stimulation. They appear more iNtuitive (N) than Sensing: they often speak in abstract, existential terms like “If people are meant to find a meaning in life can't I just say I found it and kill myself already” and “If people are meant to find a meaning in life can't I just say I found it and kill myself already”, focusing on purpose and doom rather than concrete problem‑solving, even when describing school or health. Their decisions and self‑talk are strongly Feeling (F)-oriented, centered on emotional pain, relationships, and self‑worth: “I hate myself so much that I truly believe everyone in my life hates me as much as I hate myself” and “My parents are always fucking yelling at me Motherfucker if you keep yelling there's a possibility I will shoot myself in the face” show values and hurt driving their reactions more than detached logic. They fit more with Perceiving (P) than Judging: their plans are impulsive and flexible (and often self-destructive) rather than structured, as in “I have a plan now 🙏 I'll go to school tomorrow Then Thursday I'm skipping so I can get drunk And then on Friday I'm going to school drunk” and “Sometimes i take pre workout so I can work out for 5 hours straight when I spent the other 19 hours of the day in bed”; they frequently change their mind, react in the moment, and let mood dictate behavior. Overall, an INFP profile fits someone intensely inward, idealistic yet despairing, driven by feelings and meaning, and living in a chaotic, emotion-led way rather than a planned, orderly one.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said you’d ‘kill yourself if anyone irl found your Twitter and you didn’t show them yourself’ — consider this my formal application to be the safe irl friend who gets the private tour instead of the obituary.
- You: ‘If alcohol didn’t have calories I’d be dead by now.’ Me: plotting a universe where whiskey is 0 kcal so the only thing you get drunk on is my terrible jokes and the fact someone actually listens when you say you’re tired.
- You fall asleep in class, cut before school, and still worry if your uniform sleeves are see-through… I don’t need jumping jacks, I’m already impressed by your commitment to chaos and lowkey want to be the friend you sit next to in history when ‘that guy’ isn’t there.
- You take 700mg of pre-workout to train for 3 hours, drink straight whiskey at 8:30am, and still overthink asking people to hang out — that’s wild because the scariest thing *I’ve* done today is trying to flirt with the main character of #shedtwt.
- You keep asking ‘anyone want to be my friend?’ while planning to go to school drunk and making memes about getting swatted by notifications — I don’t just want to be your friend, I want to be the one person you don’t overthink messaging back after 7+ hours.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
17 • surviving on dark humor, books, and questionable sleep schedules • semi-pro at overthinking & history class anxiety • DMs open, nudes not– @whatttoputhere
Your signature cocktail
Meowster’s 8:30am Meltdown Mule
This cocktail starts with a whiskey shot for their habit of drinking way too early and too often, like when they said “Who would drink straight whiskey at 8:30am on a Thursday 🙄🙄” and later joked about just drinking and passing out in “Just gonna drink rq and then fall asleep 🥱”. A hit of sugar-free energy drink mirrors the wired, exhausted chaos of taking pre-workout and running on almost no sleep, like “Taking pre workout (700mg) to workout for 3 hours then falling asleep at 2am” and “No sleep is making me suicidal so bad 😭”. The spicy buldak ramen broth reduction nods to the dramatic, self-destructive humor of “Time to purge Whiskey, monster, and buldak noodles 🥹✌️”, giving the drink a painful little burn that you weirdly go back for. Lime juice brings sharp acidity, echoing their biting, sarcastic edge when talking about school and family, like “What fucking part of 'I don't think I can go to school tomorrow Im really tired my body hurts and I can't function' does my stupid fucking mother not understand”. Finally, blackberry syrup adds a dark sweetness for the soft, lonely, friend-craving side behind the chaos, like “Anyone want to be my friend? #shedtwt #shtwt #edtwt” and the anxious excitement in “I think I may have made a friend today 🤔”. Together it’s strong, chaotic, a bit dangerous, and unexpectedly tender—just like their timeline where “Sometimes I get so tired I just hysterically start laughing”.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
They show strong Hufflepuff-style loyalty and kindness, especially toward friends and other vulnerable people online. They repeatedly focus on friendship and connection, asking “Anyone want to be my friend? #shedtwt #shtwt #edtwt”"Anyone want to be my friend? #shedtwt #shtwt #edtwt [picture]" and even noticing and caring about a lonely classmate: “There's a girl in my tutor class I might ask her if she wants to be my friend tomorrow She seems nervous and lonely”"There's a girl in my tutor class I might ask her if she wants to be my friend tomorrow She seems nervous and lonely [picture]". Their willingness to open up to a friend for safety—“Gonna tell my friend I plan on killing myself cuz if I don't I will 100% do it”"Gonna tell my friend I plan on killing myself cuz if I don't I will 100% do it [picture]"—reflects a deep trust in interpersonal bonds, very characteristic of Hufflepuff. They also reciprocate care, like acknowledging a friend who tries to help them eat: “My parents don't care if I don't eat at school… unless my friend makes me eat”"My parents don't care if I don't eat at school 😅 they know I don't I'm too anxious to eat there anyway unless my friend makes me eat [picture]" and worrying intensely whether a new friend secretly hates them"Maybe my new friend fucking hates me and wants me to die and that's why she read my message and didn't respond [picture]". Even amid self-hatred and distress, they look for ways to connect—planning to ask a history-class guy to be their “bestest friend ever in the whole world”"If that guy is at school tomorrow I'm gonna ask him to be my bestest friend ever in the whole world [picture]" and being excited that a new friend said yes to hanging out"So like I over thought that and she actually said yes [picture]"—which fits Hufflepuff’s core values of loyalty, warmth, and dedication to relationships more than the sharper ambition of Slytherin, the daring of Gryffindor, or the cerebral focus of Ravenclaw.
Your movie
Your song
Bury a Friend - Billie Eilish
A well‑known song that fits them is Bury a Friend by Billie Eilish, because it captures intrusive self-destructive thoughts, fear, and exhaustion. They repeatedly flirt with death and suicidal ideation, like when they say "I am going to kill myself I just don't know when" and "If people are meant to find a meaning in life can't I just say I found it and kill myself already", mirroring the song’s preoccupation with wanting to disappear and questioning one’s own mind. The song’s eerie, numb tone parallels their mix of humor and despair, such as joking about self-harm and school: "Going to go cut myself though 😍 and then sleep i guess" and "No sleep is making me suicidal so bad 😭 I really should just kill myself". Their sense of being haunted by their own brain and home environment, like "My parents are always fucking yelling at me Motherfucker if you keep yelling there's a possibility I will shoot myself in the face", fits the song’s theme of an internal monster and a suffocating atmosphere. Finally, the way they oscillate between wanting connection and feeling fundamentally broken—seen in "Anyone want to be my friend? #shedtwt #shtwt #edtwt" alongside "I hate myself so much that I truly believe everyone in my life hates me as much as I hate myself"—matches the song’s tension between reaching out and pushing everything away.
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