
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson fits best because this user is thoughtful, politically aware, and emotionally intense in a very online, fandom-driven way. They show strong moral and political opinions, like calling out selective empathy with victims (“Y’all are real quiet when it comes to school shooting victims and Palestinians but god forbid a conservative white man gets shot then it’s all ‘oh but he was a person too :(’”) and criticizing casual classism and dehumanizing language (“no, mom, calling homeless people raccoons and calling people from the Deep South swamp things is not ok”), which mirrors Lisa’s activism and moral seriousness. Like Lisa, they’re introspective and vulnerable about their future and identity, expressing anxiety about college and wanting a simpler life (“Prolly gonna fail out of college but I don’t care, I hate that I felt pressured into going into college by my parents, all I want is a job or two that gets me the money to live alone and play video games”) and about being trans in hostile environments (“I wish I could be a teacher but I wouldn’t be able to handle the constant harassment for being trans”). They’re also a huge nerd about their interests, going deep into Minecraft SMP lore and media analysis, like dissecting character performances and editing (“Ppl tend to undersell how good FlameFrags’s voice acting is… he has a lot of lore and acting as well”) and getting frustrated at people misusing concepts like the butterfly effect (“THATS NOT WHAT THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT IS FUCKK!!!!!”), which is very in line with Lisa’s pedantic but passionate intelligence. At the same time, their romantic yearning and emotional posts (“I wish you never ran away… I wish I could feel your lips again I miss you”) echo Lisa’s tendency to feel things deeply and overthink relationships. The combination of moral conviction, media-nerd intensity, sensitivity, and occasional exasperated ranting makes Lisa Simpson the closest match.

Your MBTI personality Type
They read as more introverted than extroverted: most tweets center on solitary activities like watching long Minecraft SMP series and reading fanfic, and they vent about life and feelings rather than describing big social circles, e.g. “Prolly gonna fail out of college but I don’t care, I hate that I felt pressured into going into college by my parents, all I want is a job or two that gets me the money to live alone and play video games”. Their interests and commentary are strongly intuitive, focusing on headcanons, symbolism, and narrative analysis instead of just surface events, like theorizing about character motives in UU and VSMP, such as “Ok so Coinmonke definitely sold them out right? Like there’s no way the law would have found them at every point if they didn’t know parrot and wemmbu were going down that path”. They lean feeling over thinking: they care deeply about authenticity, ethics, and how things “feel” (calling out misuse of the butterfly effect, AI fanfic, and hypocrisy around social issues) and respond with strong emotional language, e.g. “Y’all are real quiet when it comes to school shooting victims and Palestinians but god forbid a conservative white man gets shot then it’s all ‘oh but he was a person too :(‘”. Their timeline suggests a more perceiving than judging style: they talk about struggling with college structure, quitting jobs impulsively, and letting plots “run away” in fics, and they often describe consuming media in binge-y, flexible ways rather than strict plans, despite occasionally making loose viewing orders like “Ok when vampiresmp ep.6 drops I’m watching it in this order…”. The combination of emotional intensity, imaginative fandom engagement, value-driven rants, and somewhat unstructured lifestyle aligns most closely with INFP.

Some pickup lines for you

Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
19 • he/they • Minecraft lore analyst & fic critic. Once paused an Unstable SMP episode 20 times in 10 minutes just to scream about one scene.– @Wisteriaissorry

Your signature cocktail
Named after their beloved, slightly cursed parrot, this drink riffs on their tweet calling Parrot a “stupid neon bird that I hate” while clearly being obsessed with him anyway: “Stupid neon bird that I hate #parrotx2”. Midori brings the black/green Parrot agenda to life and nods to their bright aesthetics: “I’m a black/green haired parrot truther at heart #parrotx2”. Cold brew coffee stands in for the tired, overstimulated fan who pauses every two seconds to scream about lore: “I pause and freak out every two seconds because I love the series so much”, plus their hatred of generic coffee shop AUs: “NOT EVERY SINGLE BROKE COLLEGE STUDENT WORKS AT A COFFEE SHOP/BAKERY”. Ginger beer reflects their spicy rants (especially about fanfic and AI) and their late‑night ginger snacks: “Night time snack Ginger Broccoli Rotting blackberries Jasmin tea”. Blackberry syrup is a sweet-sour reminder of the rotting blackberries and messy feelings about college and love: “Prolly gonna fail out of college but I don’t care” and “I miss you”. A sharp hit of lime juice keeps it punchy and chaotic, like their horror ARG takes and constant screaming over UU and VSMP: “OMG Spoke is so much more evil than I thought” and “OH MY GOD #VampiresSMP”.

Your Hogwarts House
Spider shows strong Hufflepuff traits of kindness, fairness, and quiet stubbornness rather than flashy ambition or pure intellect. They repeatedly show compassion toward vulnerable people, like when they describe eating with a homeless woman and offering to share food: “I offered to give her one of my tacos as well and eat with her”, and when they’re frustrated that older generations assume they’re naive just for treating homeless people decently: “I hate that I can’t talk about interacting with homeless people at all with anyone from older generations without them thinking that I’m some idiot”. They care intensely about fairness and social issues, calling out hypocrisy around whose lives get public sympathy: “Y’all are real quiet when it comes to school shooting victims and Palestinians but god forbid a conservative white man gets shot…”. Their frustration with classism and dehumanizing language toward homeless and poor people (“calling homeless people raccoons… is not ok”) also fits Hufflepuff’s strong moral core and sense of justice. Even when they’re ranting, it’s usually about people being treated unfairly or authors not putting in real work or thought, such as criticizing lazy fanfic jobs and AI-written chapters: “NOT EVERY SINGLE BROKE COLLEGE STUDENT WORKS AT A COFFEE SHOP… UP YOUR GAME” and “I think a fic I’m reading has started to use ai… I’m definitely dropping this one”. Taken together, their empathy, fairness, and grounded priorities make Hufflepuff the best fit.

Your movie

Your song
A fitting song for them is "teenage dirtbag" by Wheatus, because it captures being a slightly bitter, lonely, media-obsessed teen who feels out of place but still deeply romantic and idealistic. They talk openly about hating college pressure and just wanting a simple life to play games, as in “Prolly gonna fail out of college but I don’t care, I hate that I felt pressured into going into college by my parents, all I want is a job or two that gets me the money to live alone and play video games”, which mirrors the song’s outsider perspective. Their mix of anger and tenderness—like venting about bad fanfiction in “NOT EVERY SINGLE BROKE COLLEGE STUDENT WORKS AT A COFFEE SHOP/BAKERY FANFIC WRITERS UP YOUR GAME” but also writing raw posts like “I wish you never ran away… I miss you”—matches the song’s blend of frustration and aching crush. They often feel misunderstood or judged, especially as a trans person who says “I wish I could be a teacher but I wouldn’t be able to handle the constant harassment for being trans”, echoing the sense of being on the margins. Their nerdy, deeply online Minecraft/fandom focus—seen in posts like “It takes me forever to finish an unstable smp video because I pause and freak out every two seconds because I love the series so much”—rounds out the picture of a passionate, slightly chaotic "dirtbag" teen who feels like they’re living in their own world.

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Wisteriaissorry
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