WockWalk
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Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Passionate Fan: His intense reactions to sports events, like 'Shoot Minnesota shoot the puck', show a deep emotional investment in his favorite teams.
- Gambling Enthusiasm: His frequent tweets about betting, such as 'Tonight goalie save prop streak extends I can’t lose', demonstrate a keen interest and involvement in gambling.
- Pop Culture Savvy: References to wrestling, like 'And cm punk gets screwed some things never change fucking triple H and this shit script', indicate a broad knowledge of pop culture.
- Dark Humor: His joking about pancreatitis with 'Maybe I have pancreatitis like Josh' showcases a coping mechanism through dark humor.
- Candid Honesty: Sharing his gambling losses, like 'I could’ve gambled the 1000 I lost in crypto', reveals a willingness to be open about his experiences.
Weaknesses:
- Conspiracy Thinking: His tweet 'It’s the Jews they all pulling out together were cooked we’re not in the inner Jew circle #Crypto' demonstrates a tendency towards conspiratorial beliefs.
- Impulsive Gambling: The tweet 'Idk if I could pick between the juul cart or gambling I just love them all so much' suggests a potentially addictive relationship with gambling.
- Sarcastic Cynicism: Comments like 'They always make drew mcIntyre lose in the gayest way' can come across as overly cynical and sarcastic.
- Potentially Offensive: His remarks about Jewish people and crypto, like 'The Jewish inner circle pulled out a billion from bitcoin now the non Jewish common folk like me and u get fucked', are potentially offensive and insensitive.
- Health Neglect: Mentioning 'Puked a few times but I’m fighting over here' suggests a tendency to push through health issues rather than addressing them properly.
Your Simpsons character
Barney Gumble
Johnnie resonates with Barney Gumble from The Simpsons, sharing a similar blend of sports enthusiasm, occasional health issues, and a somewhat cynical outlook. Barney's love for Duff beer mirrors Johnnie's affection for gambling and sports, as seen in 'Idk if I could pick between the juul cart or gambling I just love them all so much'. Both characters often find themselves in unfortunate or humorous situations, and Johnnie's health concerns ('Maybe I have pancreatitis like Josh') echo Barney's often self-inflicted health problems. Both also have an opinion on everything, and are not afraid to share it.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESTP
Johnnie seems to embody ESTP: extraverted, sensing, thinking, perceiving. His extraversion is evident in his public sharing of thoughts and opinions on Twitter, engaging with sports and gambling events. His sensing side focuses on the present and immediate experiences, such as live sports games and betting outcomes. His thinking preference leads him to make quick, logical decisions, especially in gambling. Perceiving allows him to be adaptable and spontaneous, reacting to events as they unfold. His tweets like '7/7 this is a bit ridiculous' and 'Shoot Minnesota shoot the puck' exemplify these traits.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a goalie save prop? Because I'm betting everything on you tonight.
- Is your name Ullmark? Because you're so free, I can't lose with you.
- Are you a crypto pump? Because I'm ready to invest all my emotions in you.
- Do you believe in love at first bet, or should I try again?
- Are you the Red Sox? Because I'd watch you even if the Dodgers are winning.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Sports fanatic, gambling addict, and occasional conspiracy theorist. Always chasing the next win (or trying to break even). Don't ask about my crypto. Also, I'm still trying to figure out who's using my number at Bartaco.– @WockWalk
Your signature cocktail
The Red Card
The 'Red Card' cocktail represents Johnnie's fiery personality and love for sports, particularly soccer. Tequila provides a strong kick, reflecting his intense emotions during games. Blood orange juice adds a vibrant color and citrusy flavor, mirroring his enthusiasm. Grenadine gives it a red hue, symbolizing the dramatic and often frustrating moments in sports, like 'Straight red is crazy'. Lime juice balances the sweetness with a tart edge, representing his sarcastic wit. The chili lime rim adds a spicy finish, capturing his bold and sometimes controversial opinions.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Johnnie would likely be sorted into Slytherin. His ambition and willingness to do whatever it takes to win, even if it means bending the rules, align with Slytherin's values. His conspiratorial thinking, as seen in 'It’s the Jews they all pulling out together were cooked we’re not in the inner Jew circle #Crypto', suggests a distrust of outsiders and a focus on his own group. Additionally, his sharp, sarcastic wit and occasional ruthlessness in his opinions, like 'Vlahovic is terrible', fit the Slytherin profile. While he might not be overtly power-hungry, his drive to succeed and his cynical worldview make Slytherin a fitting house.
Your movie
Your song
Loser - Beck
The song 'Loser' by Beck reflects Johnnie's self-deprecating humor and occasional sense of defeat, particularly in relation to his gambling losses and crypto investments. The lyrics capture a feeling of being an outsider and not quite fitting in, which resonates with his conspiratorial thinking and frustration with financial setbacks. The song's upbeat tempo and ironic tone mirror his ability to joke about his misfortunes, as seen in tweets like 'Cryptos cooked should’ve just stayed on fidelity Donald dump scammed me outta all my coin he said we would be booming we are dooming'. It's a fitting anthem for his chaotic and often unlucky experiences.
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