xarnoir
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Moe is a bitter, depressed bartender who constantly complains about his job, feels useless on days off, and struggles with selfâesteemâmirroring @xarnoirâs tweets like "i hate my job, but i get paid well" and "i genuinely hate days off, it makes me feel very useless." The userâs frequent profanity, suicidal thoughts ("how the gym saved me from killing myself after being betrayed for the 4th time") and feelings of emptiness despite doing everything right also align with Moeâs frequent depressive moments. Both are obsessed with trying to improve themselves (Moeâs occasional attempts to be more attractive, similar to @xarnoirâs "gymcel" obsession) and vent their frustration about the world, as seen in "the amount of incels in this app is insaneeee". The overall tone of selfâdeprecation, anger, and a desire for validation makes Moe the closest match among Simpsons characters.

Your MBTI personality Type
The user consistently uses firstâperson language and shares personal emotions, showing a strong introverted focus (e.g., "i feel empty?" and "i love you a lot"). They talk about concrete, sensory details such as exact weight loss numbers, macros, and specific gym activities, e.g., "lost 26lbsđ«©đ«©please glaze me guys" and "Creatine is so goated", indicating a sensing preference. Their decisionâmaking is driven by feelings and personal values, as seen in statements like "i hate my job, but i get paid well" and "i feel useless", reflecting a feeling orientation. The pattern of strict workout schedules, cutting plans, and emphasis on discipline ("aggressive cutting feels amazing", "recovery days? fuhh naww we working out!!") shows a judging style. Together these traits point to the ISFJ personality type.

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Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
He/Him âą 20-yr journalist & fitness nerd. Once turned a cardio class into a dance floor. #MacroLife #Storytellingâ @xarnoir

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail mixes the dark intensity of Irish whiskey with the sharp zing of fresh lemon, echoing xar's relentless gym grind and his 'potassium maxxing!!! fuck being bloated' mindset. The cold brew coffee adds the lateânight journalist hustle and the lingering fatigue he mentions, like 'how the gym saved me from killing myself after being betrayed for the 4th time'. A splash of simple syrup softens the edge, reflecting his occasional soft side when 'i think my soft side came out when ive been planting my own veggies'. The whey protein dusted on top represents his obsession with cutting and 'lost 26lbsđ«©đ«©please glaze me guys', while the overall bitterâsweet profile mirrors his confession 'i wish i was a white girl with a bmi of 18'. Together it's a drink that's as gritty and hopeful as his tweets, 'I WANT IT MORE THAN YOU'.

Your Hogwarts House
The user shows strong ambition and a desire for personal superiority, as seen in tweets like "I WANT IT MORE THAN YOU" and "got told by my gym buds that im at my strongest era and im doing everythingđđ BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER". He also values resourcefulness and selfâpreservation, noting that "the gym saved me from killing myself after being betrayed for the 4th time". His focus on wealth is evident in "I hate my job, but i get paid wellâŠ" and his unrealistic body goal "i wish i was a white girl with a bmi of 18" highlight a drive for status and achievement. While he works hard, his primary motivation appears to be personal advancement rather than loyalty or scholarly pursuit, aligning best with Slytherin.

Your movie

Your song
The user's relentless gym obsession â for example, "awh hell naw the gym is tweakingđâïž 2 consecutive rest days i didnt ask for this!!" and "I want it more than you" â mirrors the drive in the chorus "It's the eye of the tiger, the thrill of the fight." They even credit the gym with saving their life, saying "how the gym saved me from killing myself after being betrayed for the 4th time," which aligns with the song's theme of rising after being knocked down. Their focus on becoming stronger â "got told by my gym buds that im at my strongest era" and "lost 26lbs... BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER" â echoes the lyric "Rising up, back on the street, did my time, took my chances, went the distance." The frequent feelings of emptiness and selfâdoubt, such as "why am i doing everything right yet i feel a little empty?" and "i hate my job, but i get paid well," are reflected in the song's narrative of perseverance against adversity. Overall, "Eye of the Tiger" captures both the intense workout motivation and the survivor mindset the user repeatedly mentions.

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