
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The user most closely matches Lisa Simpson, especially a darker, more self-critical version of her. Lisa is highly intense and single‑minded when she latches onto a goal, similar to how this user’s entire routine revolves around weight loss: “all I do is wake up, walk, eat breakfast , walk, doomscroll ed spaces, walk, eat lunch, walk, doomscroll, walk, doomscroll, sleep”. Like Lisa, they’re analytical and methodical, tracking calories and protein every day, for example: “trying to eat within 1100 cals while getting 100 g protien while also being mindful about fibre” and “mealprepped chicken protien bars that’s 160 cals, 30 g protien… am i the best ortho or what”. There’s also a strong sense of isolation and feeling misunderstood, much like Lisa’s recurring loneliness: “haven’t talked to a human in 3 days cuz i keep arguing and picking fights and hurting everyone. but at least i lost weight yay.”. Finally, their intense self-criticism and perfectionism echo Lisa’s harsher moments toward herself, such as “9 kgs in 50 days is kinda pathetic if you think about it” and “losing 10 kgs in two months is embarrassing… at my weight I should be losing 10 kgs a month”.

Your MBTI personality Type
Default personality type.

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Your new Twitter bio
Left college but not my curiosity. Logging the messy process of change, one small habit at a time. Ask me about homemade protein bars and weird step goals.– @xt00str3ssxed

Your signature cocktail
The Sugar-free green apple soda is a nod to their name chp🍏 and their obsession with quitting sugar, like when they said they were serious about it and skipped the chocolate in “im so serious about quitting sugar i didn’t even touch dubai chocolate”. The Cold brew coffee concentrate captures their wired, relentless grind energy and doomscroll cycles in “all I do is wake up, walk, eat breakfast , walk, doomscroll ed spaces, walk, eat lunch, walk, doomscroll, walk, doomscroll, sleep”. Diet tonic water adds a bitter, zero-cal kick that mirrors their harsh self-talk and fixation on fast loss, like “i should be losing 10kgs a month why am i so sloww<\3”. The Lemon peel twist represents the sharp, sarcastic edge in lines like “losing 10 kgs in two months is embarrassing, even someone with low sw can do that.. at my weight I should be losing 10 kgs a month”. Finally, the Edamame-infused ice cube is a playful tribute to their hyper-analytical protein era and discoveries like “just found out roasted edamame snacks are just 125 cals for 13 g protein and 4.8 g fibre hello??? time to stock up”, slowly releasing calm into an otherwise intense, low-cal fizz.

Your Hogwarts House
Their defining trait across the timeline is intense, almost ruthless ambition focused on a single goal: losing 50 kg and becoming “skinny skinny,” as seen in tweets like “i need to lose 50 more kgs to be skinny skinny” and repeated mantras such as “I will lose 50 kgs in 2026” and “im gonna lose 50 kgs in 2026.”. They are willing to make extreme sacrifices and prioritize this goal over conventional paths like education, explicitly saying they dropped out of college to focus on being skinny in “watching ppl from my class prep for finals. while im here starving myself cuz i decided to drop out of college to focus on being skinny..”, which shows Slytherin-style single-mindedness and self-preservation of their chosen identity over societal expectations. Their approach is highly strategic and calculated, constantly adjusting calories, protein, and steps in a cold, tactical way—for example “planning tomorrow’s meal and it’s 620 cals for 100 g protein !” and “trying to eat within 1100 cals while getting 100 g protien while also being mindful about fibre”. They frame setbacks as challenges to be conquered and keep increasing the stakes—“fuck it. I’m losing 2 kgs this week.” and “gonna lose 6 kgs in february 🤞”—showing relentless drive rather than patient, Hufflepuff-style steadiness. Even their isolation and willingness to endure misery for the goal—“2 weeks binge free at the cost of my mental health and happiness. but at least im 3 kgs down”—fit Slytherin’s darker, self-sacrificing ambition more than any other house. Overall, the combination of long-term goal obsession, readiness to break themselves for it, and calculating, results-first mindset strongly aligns them with Slytherin.

Your movie

Your song
A well‑fitting song for them is “Control” by Halsey, because it captures feeling ruled by a darker, self-destructive voice and being stuck inside your own head. They describe their whole life revolving around weight loss and ED spaces, saying “my whole day revolves around researching weight loss, scrolling edtwt, watching weight loss videos/podcasts, planning calories for the next day,” which mirrors the obsessive, consuming nature of the song. Their intense self-criticism shows in posts like “9 kgs in 50 days is kinda pathetic if you think about it” and “i look fat asf.. i need to lose 50 kgs or im seriously gonna kms”, echoing the song’s themes of self-loathing and inner torment. The way they trade normal life milestones for weight loss, like “watching ppl from my class prep for finals. while im here starving myself cuz i decided to drop out of college to focus on being skinny..”, matches the song’s sense of losing control over one’s life to an internal monster. Even their awareness that this is hurting them—“2 weeks binge free at the cost of my mental health and happiness. but at least im 3 kgs down”—parallels the song’s tension between knowing something is damaging and feeling unable to stop it.

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