YearnWaffen
City:
Job:
In a relationship:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Encouraging: Holiday tweet urging followers to make good choices and pursue their heart's desires.
- Reflective: Discusses his conflicted views on perv girls and acknowledges trauma influences.
- Creative: Posts concept ideas and mentions creating VRIL edits and cat pictures.
- Resilient: Notes longest period without suspension, showing perseverance on the platform.
- Confident: Claims 'I’m kind of a big deal' and asserts his importance in multiple tweets.
Weaknesses:
- Misogynistic: Frequent demeaning statements about women, such as claiming girls only want one thing and it’s hand.
- Manipulative: Plans to force her to see his posts by converting all her mutuals into his mutuals.
- Entitled: Expresses expectation of control, e.g., chaining her up in the basement to keep her safe.
- Aggressive: Mentions violent control tactics like chaining a partner in the basement.
- Abusive: Uses hostile language and threats, for example 'Fuck you. For now, and forever.'
Your Simpsons character
Mayor Quimby
Mayor Quimby, the corrupt Springfield mayor, mirrors YearnWaffen’s self‑aggrandizing and predatory attitude. The user’s claim "I’m kind of a big deal" and "Ladies, do you care about a man’s body count?" echo Quimby’s notorious womanizing and sense of entitlement as a public figure. Their vile statement "Chaining her up in the basement to keep her safe. The jews can’t get to her there." reflects the kind of bigoted, power‑hungry rhetoric the show satirizes in Quimby’s political speeches. The tweet "My government mandated goth girlfriend was evil and retarded so I sent her back." shows a manipulative use of authority, a hallmark of Quimby’s willingness to exploit government power for personal whims. Finally, the user’s "I’m kind of a big deal" and desire to "find my wife" align with Quimby’s constant pursuit of personal gratification while maintaining a public persona.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTP
Based on the user's frequent public posting and desire for attention, they appear extroverted (e.g., 'Me and bro when we see a couple 7’s at the function.' and 'The plebs look on in envy as I meander around the job site'). Their tweets often revolve around abstract ideas and future possibilities, such as 'Concept: We fall in love, do what we must to make it real' and 'What is the rarest female archetype?', indicating an intuitive (N) style. They consistently prioritize logical critique over emotional empathy, as seen in 'Liars, frauds, and fickle people deserve to be put down' and 'In the end, I was right about everything', reflecting a thinking (T) preference. Finally, their impulsive, spontaneous behavior—'Holding in my pee to see what all the hype is about among the ladies' and 'Crossfaded (pizza and juice)'—shows a perceiving (P) orientation. Together these traits suggest an ENTP personality.
Some pickup lines for you
- If you’re still waiting for a goofy brunette in cute PJs on Christmas morning, maybe I should be the one delivering milk, cookies, and a kiss under the mistletoe.
- You said the fastest route to your heart is pointy nails and pretty eyes—good news, I’ve got both and a stash of Road House ’89 moves to keep us entertained.
- Your aura is off the charts and you’ve got magic hands—how about we mix those into a pheromone candle and see if the scent leads us straight to a ‘Wife Wrangler’ partnership?
- I saw you’ll change your username when you find your wife. How about we start a new handle together, like ‘WifeWrangler&CozyPJ’, and make midnight cookie raids a daily ritual?
- I may not be the cutest, but I’ve got blue eyes, magic hands, and a love for heated coats on the job site—let’s team up and turn your next ‘Wife Wrangler’ quest into a legendary story.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
DIY tinkerer from Cowboy Country, once sewed 220 rice-warmers for Mom. Vintage web fan, aspiring writer. On a quest for the perfect partnership.– @YearnWaffen
Your signature cocktail
Patriotic Blood & Gothic Bourbon
The bourbon base mirrors his self‑proclaimed "White Christian. Patriot" identity, as seen in his bio and tweets like "The Pied Piper of foids. White Christian. Patriot". A splash of black rum adds the dark gothic vibe he flaunts, referencing his "government mandated goth girlfriend was evil" line. Cherry liqueur and cinnamon syrup bring together his holiday longing and morbid cravings, echoing cries such as "Another Christmas morning without a goofy brunette wrapped in cute pj’s" and "Coughing up blood. Perhaps tuberculosis is the answer to all my problems." A dash of hot sauce injects the confrontational heat found in his aggressive posts like "Girls only want one thing and it’s hand". Finally, a smoked cinnamon stick garnish nods to his love of blasting gospel during the Christmas season, as he notes "Christmas season means that I get judged a lot less for blasting gospel in the car."
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
The user repeatedly shows ambition and a desire for control, typical of Slytherin. For example, they tweet "Stealing his girlfriend. Turning her into a wife" and "I’ll be posting hole at 500 followers," indicating a hunger for dominance and status. They also display cunning and disregard for moral boundaries, as seen in "Chaining her up in the basement to keep her safe. The jews can’t get to her there." Their self‑aggrandizing statements like "I’m kind of a big deal" further reflect the Slytherin trait of self‑importance. Overall, the pattern of manipulation, ambition, and resourcefulness aligns best with Slytherin.
Your movie
Your song
Every Breath You Take - The Police
The user’s tweets reveal a constant preoccupation with a specific woman, a desire to monitor, control, and even physically restrain her, as seen in 'Chaining her up in the basement to keep her safe. The jews can’t get to her there.' They also say 'Turning all of her mutuals into my mutuals so that she’s forced to see my posts on her feed' and 'May I smell you?', which highlight a stalker‑like fixation. The lyrics of 'Every Breath You Take'—'Every breath you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you'—mirror this obsessive surveillance. Additionally, the line 'I'll be watching you' reflects the user's self‑identification as a 'Wife Wrangler' who wants to keep his future wife under his watch forever. The song also captures the mixture of romantic longing and possessiveness present in tweets like 'I’m dying (sick) and the only thing that can save me is a silly brunette.' Hence, the classic stalker anthem fits their personality.
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