
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They most closely match Lisa Simpson, who is intelligent, self-analytical, emotionally intense, and often feels out of place. Like Lisa, they overthink and turn inward, blaming themselves and trying to impose strict control on their life, as seen in “my biggest opp in weightloss is myself” and “anyways i have calculated that i can fast a total of 10 days this month. What the hell”. Their activism and moral edge line up with Lisa’s strong political conscience, for example “do NOT follow or even interact with me if you are a zionist / if you aren't with palestine”. The mix of vulnerability and dark humor, like “the only 'locked in' ive been this december is nearly the psych ward”, echoes Lisa’s tendency to mask deep pain with wry commentary. They also show Lisa-like tenderness and solace in animals, such as “there is a cat on me , all future destructive plans have been postponed”, suggesting the same soft-hearted core beneath the angst.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert: most content is self-focused, emotional check-ins, and internal struggles rather than big social scenes, like feeling ignored at a family gathering in “i was celebrating my birthday with my grandparents and i left so quickly bc they completely ignored me and kept asking about my sisters LOL” and spending long stretches alone with cats in “for the next two weeks ill be staying at a friends to look after her cats…”. They appear more Intuitive than Sensing, frequently turning experiences into broader meanings or self-stories (e.g. “one of the weirdest things my ed made me do was chopping off all my hair because i thought it would lead to a significant weight change on the scale ...” and “i have so many stories from when i was a child that are so bizarre i sometimes think i just made them up”), and living in future-oriented fears/hopes about recovery and relapse like “maybe february will be my month (?)”. Their decision-making is clearly Feeling: values and emotions dominate, such as strong moral stances in “do NOT follow or even interact with me if you are a zionist / if you aren't with palestine”, intense relational sensitivity in “guy i'm talking to is ignoring me i think it's because he also knows i'm too fat”, and guilt/empathy about friends in “last night i was so drunk and i made out with my best friend ... i feel so bad”. On the J–P axis they look more Perceiving: despite frequent plans to fast or structure behavior (“fasting until friday 3pm i can do this” and “anyways i have calculated that i can fast a total of 10 days this month.”), their life reads as reactive and changeable, with moods and choices swinging quickly as in “i am taking this back i'll try to get out of as many meals as possible I can't live looking like this anymore”. Overall, the combination of inward focus, imaginative framing, values-driven reactions, and fluctuating, less-structured follow-through best fits INFP.

Some pickup lines for you

Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Zach, 26. Trauma treatment-bound, cat magnet, chronic cake baker. Once cut my hair for the scale. Here for recovery, sarcasm, and Palestinian liberation.– @yeolbmi

Your signature cocktail
The vodka infused with chamomile tea mirrors their mix of chaotic fasting energy and underlying exhaustion, like when they say “first 33 hours of my fast are done and its both surprising and embarrassing how easy it has been” yet also “only been awake for an hour and already cant stop crying”. Pink grapefruit juice brings a sharp, slightly bitter brightness that reflects their self-deprecating body image and ED struggles, such as “.... Anyways im so FAT !!! someone make me stop eating” and “i'm going to an inpatient trauma treatment facility in two weeks and i want to fast as much as i can until then”. Salted honey syrup stands for the sweetness and warmth they show to friends and animals, like “there is a cat on me , all future destructive plans have been postponed” and “for the next two weeks ill be staying at a friends to look after her cats while shes on vacation”, with the salt hinting at the sting of being ignored by family in “i left so quickly bc they completely ignored me”. A dash of bitters captures their darker humor and trauma undertones, like “the only 'locked in' ive been this december is nearly the psych ward” and “i Will relapse if i don't stop feeling like this within 15 minutes”. Finally, sparkling water adds a light, pro-recovery effervescence in honor of their bio “catboy of edtwt ✧ priv @loeykgs” and their enthusiastic “i fukcing Love water”, making the drink feel experimental yet oddly refreshing—just like their timeline.

Your Hogwarts House
Their core traits lean toward emotional loyalty, caretaking, and fairness, which are distinctly Hufflepuff. They show strong care for others and animals, like staying at a friend’s place to look after her cats and immediately bonding with one of them: “for the next two weeks ill be staying at a friends to look after her cats while shes on vacation and ive only been here an hour and one of them already got on my lap TWICE shes my new bff” and later postponing destructive plans because there’s a cat on them: “there is a cat on me , all future destructive plans have been postponed”. They value fairness and compassion in politics and interpersonal ethics, as shown when they clearly refuse to interact with people whose views they see as unjust: “i don't know if i ever directly stated this on my page but do NOT follow or even interact with me if you are a zionist / if you aren't with palestine”. Their self-description emphasizes being pro-recovery and community-oriented on edtwt: “zach , 26 … he / they … pro recovery .ᐟ #edtwt ♡ / ↻ to be moots .ᐟ”, which fits Hufflepuff’s association with supportiveness and persistence despite struggle. While they experience intense self-criticism and impulsivity, their repeated attempts to take care of others, worry about loved ones (“also my dad is in the hospital im so so worried”), and desire for fair, kind treatment strongly suggest Hufflepuff over the more ambition- or intellect-centered houses.

Your movie

Your song
A song that fits Zach is Bury a Friend by Billie Eilish, because it captures that mix of dark humor, self-destructiveness, and vulnerability that runs through their timeline. They openly talk about destructive cycles and relapse, like when they said “i b/ped yesterday so i'm redoing my fast ...” and “i Will relapse if i don't stop feeling like this within 15 minutes”, which mirrors the song’s themes of being haunted by your own mind. The track’s body discomfort and self-directed aggression resonate with tweets such as “.... Anyways im so FAT !!! someone make me stop eating” and “ew i just saw myself in the mirror”. At the same time, the song’s eerie playfulness matches the way they balance darkness with humor and online persona, like calling themself “catboy of edtwt ✧ priv @loeykgs” and joking that “there is a cat on me , all future destructive plans have been postponed”. The overall vibe of wrestling with inner demons while still being oddly charismatic and self-aware is very much Bury a Friend coded.

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