
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They fit best as Lisa Simpson: emotionally intense, self-analytical, and very online-brain smart but constantly anxious about relationships and expectations. Like Lisa, they overthink their connections and self-worth, shown in posts like “realizing you don’t like someone but the version of them you have in your head is so liberating, like yes getting rid of those feelings will be just as hard but at least i finally know what’s wrong with me” and “starting to feel like this so i’m afraid i’m gonna go back to not contacting anyone until i feel confident enough to talk to ppl again <3”. They show a principled stance on friendship and boundaries, very Lisa-coded, with takes like “my take on this is that you should always do ur best to be the best friend u can be … if people end up replacing you, they were never ur real friends anyway” and “if ur constantly worried abt being replaced by ur FRIENDS for someone better then MAYBE you should do some self reflection bc that should never happen”. The intellectual/self-aware side comes through in complaints about being labeled “super smart” and the pressure of that image, like “being told i’m super smart since childhood so now whenever i do or say something slightly unserious ppl r horrified like i’m betraying my own image”, which mirrors Lisa’s gifted-kid burden. At the same time they’re dramatic, queer, and hyperfixated on fandoms and music (“ASTRONAUT BY SKZ IS PLAYING AT YHE STORE I'M AT RN;4;2!)#”, “and now i can’t read anything involving straight ppl bc it legitimately makes me uncomfortable”), which fits Lisa’s passionate, niche-obsessed nature growing up. The mix of existential humor (“WE SHOULD ALL KILL OURSELVES”) and sincere yearning for love and safety (“god to have a bf to do this with”, “also can i just say i love this holdie it makes me feel small and safe”) matches Lisa’s blend of cynicism and deep romantic idealism.

Your MBTI personality Type
They seem more introverted: they talk about retreating from people, e.g. wanting to stop contacting others until they feel confident again (“starting to feel like this so i’m afraid i’m gonna go back to not contacting anyone until i feel confident enough to talk to ppl again <3”), and their main account 'isn’t safe anymore bc there’s too many ppl there' so they use a smaller, selective one (“my main isn’t safe anymore bc there’s too many ppl there”). They are strongly intuitive, preoccupied with feelings, dynamics, and imagined scenarios: they describe the liberation of realizing they were in love with the idea of someone (“realizing you don’t like someone but the version of them you have in your head is so liberating”) and indulge in omegaverse fantasies wondering what being an omega would feel like (“reading omegaverse and wondering what being an omega would feel like”). Their values are clearly Feeling-oriented: they emphasize being a good friend and self-worth in relationships (“you should always do ur best to be the best friend u can be… if people end up replacing you, they were never ur real friends anyway”) and express deep insecurity and yearning (“god to have a bf to do this with”, “i’m done yearning for ppl who don’t want me”). They read as perceiving rather than rigidly structured: they oversleep (“morning guys i overslept”), bounce between crushes and overthinking (“i AM over him bc i like someone else now i’m just overthinking as usual”), and frequently react spontaneously and dramatically (e.g. “I QUIT”, “WE SHOULD ALL KILL OURSELVES”) rather than presenting orderly plans. Altogether, an introspective, fantasy-heavy, emotionally intense, and somewhat chaotic style fits INFP best.

Some pickup lines for you

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Your new Twitter bio
Part-time k‑pop analyst, full-time overthinker. Once heard “Astronaut” at a store and considered it a spiritual experience. Opinions are mine, mostly.– @yjginloml

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is named after their bio manifesto “millonario antes de los 20 o suicidio” and their chronic yearning energy in posts like “god to have a bf to do this with”. Spicy chili-infused tequila captures their loud, dramatic reactions and ragebait ambitions from tweets like “I NEED to learn how to ragebait for this” and “WE SHOULD ALL KILL OURSELVES” (in that over-the-top stan way). Pink grapefruit juice reflects their soft, romantic, slightly bitter yearning in “alright that’s enough cheesy ass posts… i’m done yearning for ppl who don’t want me”. Hibiscus syrup stands for their queer, kpop-coded softness and love for pretty, dramatic aesthetics like “you can’t get any gayer than this” and the SKZ freak-out in “ASTRONAUT BY SKZ IS PLAYING AT YHE STORE I'M AT RN”. Salt & lime bitters mirror their sharp, self-aware takes on friendships and jealousy in “if ur constantly worried abt being replaced… they were never ur real friends anyway” and “i don’t rlly fw jealous ppl #breakingmysilence”. Finally, the edible glitter garnish is for their chaotic, fandom-timeline sparkle and dramatic capslock moments like “OH MY FUCKING GOD” and “LIKE HUUUUUUH UROWODPWDJS”, making the drink look as unhinged as their quotes tab.

Your Hogwarts House
They show strong ambition and a hard-edged, self-preservation mindset that aligns most with Slytherin. Their bio literally sets an extreme success-or-death standard: “millonario antes de los 20 o suicidio,” which is an exaggerated but very Slytherin framing of ambition and stakes. They frequently emphasize emotional detachment and rejecting vulnerability, like in “no. help is for the weak” and “brotherrr i was gone so fawking fast you’d think we were never even acquaintances”, which reads as strategic self-protection. At the same time, they retain confidence in their own value and status in friendships, as in “having the confidence to know that if people end up replacing you, they were never ur real friends anyway so ur better off w/o them and they’re getting a downgrade”. While they clearly care about friends and fandoms, the dominant throughline is ambitious, defensive, and self-preserving rather than purely brave (Gryffindor), nurturing (Hufflepuff), or cerebral (Ravenclaw), making Slytherin the best fit.

Your movie

Your song
The song antifragile fits them because it’s all about turning chaos and emotional damage into attitude and growth, which matches their dramatic but self-aware posting style. They joke about being extreme and a bit self-destructive, like in their bio “millonario antes de los 20 o suicidio” and tweets such as “WE SHOULD ALL KILL OURSELVES”, but there’s always a layer of irony and resilience. They’re openly sensitive about love and friendship yet refuse to settle, as seen in “alright that’s enough cheesy ass posts on my tl… i’m done yearning for ppl who don’t want me” and “my take on this is that you should always do ur best to be the best friend u can be… if people end up replacing you, they were never ur real friends anyway”. That mix of vulnerability and defiant confidence mirrors the “I’m antifragile, I’m gonna rise up stronger” energy perfectly. Even their joking about being over someone then overthinking again, like “y’all didn’t see shit i AM over him… i’m just overthinking as usual”, fits the theme of breaking down but bouncing back harder each time.

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