Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Affectionate: Shows strong care for loved ones, like talking about their boyfriend with affection in “mmmy 8oyfriend iss so” and sending food to their long-distance partner in “true love is ordering u8ereats for ur 8f who lives in a complete different state ❤️❤️❤️”.
- Protective: Defends herself and others, such as calling out a delivery driver in “to the GROWN MAN who i had as my u8er delivery driver…” and blocking someone for calling women “females” in “witnessing ex oomf crashing out . 8locked after they called girls females 😭”.
- Self-aware: Openly acknowledges her own issues, like attention span in “just know i have like the worsttt attention span” and calling herself “actually fucking crazy” in “one thing youll learn a8out me is i am actually fucking crazy”.
- Creative: Shows artistic and aesthetic creativity through things like drug jars for favorites in “drug jars i made for my faves ..”, planning altars in “need my own place so i can start making altars againnn”, and enjoying her sister’s Homestuck drawings in “she drew dave and john . i feel o8lig8ed to share”.
- Community-oriented: Engages actively with online communities, looking for moots in “#profic moots #profic moots …”, appreciating friends in “I LUV ALL MY FRIENDS INSIDE MY PHONE U GUYS ARE MY GOATS”, and asking for rave tips in “ok i want to go to a few raves . if anyone has any tips”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive: Frequently romanticizes harmful behavior, like extreme restriction in “ughh im so hungry starves”, celebrating visible hipbones in “MY HIP8ONES ARE VISI8LE 8LESSSS UPPP OMGGG”, and going “8ack on shtwt” in “aaaaand we're 8ack on shtwt 🥹🥹🥹”.
- Substance-reliant: Shows heavy reliance on drugs and nicotine, like missing LSD in “i havent done cid in 3 years 🥹🥹 i miss it sm”, wanting stimulants in “i want to do st!mul@nts soon . 8ut im unsure where to look”, and using weed to avoid REM in “ill never stop smoking weed cuz i have chronic nightmares”.
- Impulsive: Acts and posts quickly based on emotion, like swinging from rave plans to ‘lets all just die’ in “lets all just die right now”, and deleting posts for low engagement in “wow #deleted that post 8ecause it got 2 likes and 90 views”.
- Attention-seeking: Openly chases interaction and followers, as seen in “I WAS AT 67 FOLLOWERS WJO TF UNFOLLOWED ME GET 8ACK HERE”, “lost a follower #comeback”, and unfollowing people who don’t follow back in “FOLLOW ME 8ACK youre not cool for ignoring me n now u r getn unfollowed ho”.
- Risk-tolerant: Shows high comfort with risky situations, like taking a 500 mg edible in “500 mg edi8le . help. im so high”, discussing DMT in “mommy needs to try dmt”, and casually being around someone huffing paint at work in “someone was huffing paint in the mens 8athroom at my work”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
They most closely match Bart Simpson: chaotic, mischief-prone, but ultimately affectionate and loyal to their people. Their timeline is full of impulsive, reckless behavior and irreverent humor, like talking about drugs and partying in posts such as “everything is so 8right lol dxm for the win im lowkey a chud” and “500 mg edi8le . help. im so high”, very much in line with Bart’s ‘try anything once’ troublemaker streak. They also have that loud, attention-seeking online persona — complaining about follower counts and engagement in posts like “I WAS AT 67 FOLLOWERS WJO TF UNFOLLOWED ME GET 8ACK HERE YOU FUCKED IT UPPPP” and “wow #deleted that post 8ecause it got 2 likes and 90 views” — which fits Bart’s need to be noticed. At the same time, there’s obvious loyalty and love for friends and siblings, like “i LOVE my 8rother 8OUNCES LIKE THIS #ilovemybrother” and “true love is ordering u8ereats for ur 8f who lives in a complete different state ❤️❤️❤️”, echoing Bart’s softer side with Lisa and his family. Their mix of edgy humor, self-destructive jokes, and genuine care for their circle makes them a very Bart-coded online presence.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extraverted: they constantly seek interaction with moots and coworkers, get excited about follower counts, and explicitly chase social connection, e.g. demanding reciprocity in “im not mean or anything 8ut FOLLOW ME 8ACK youre not cool for ignoring me n now u r getn unfollowed ho” and fretting over lost followers in “I WAS AT 67 FOLLOWERS WJO TF UNFOLLOWED ME GET 8ACK HERE YOU FUCKED IT UPPPP”. Their interests and language are strongly Intuitive: they focus on fandoms, symbolism, and meaning (Homestuck, tarot, paganism), as in “getting my younger sister into homestuck . she drew dave and john . i feel o8lig8ed to share” and “if ur 8estfriend doesnt send u tarot cards when ur misplace urs r they really your 8estfriend”, and they riff on identity and online culture more than concrete step‑by‑step facts. They read as Feeling over Thinking: they center emotions, relationships, and moral stances, like protecting girls from disrespect in “witnessing ex oomf crashing out . 8locked after they called girls females 😭 shut yo mouth ill pop u 8ro” and expressing affection in “I LUV ALL MY FRIENDS INSIDE MY PHONE U GUYS ARE MY GOATS”. Though blunt and chaotic, their decisions and rants are value‑driven rather than analytical debate; for example they frame workplace stories in terms of how people treated them and others, as in “to the GROWN MAN who i had as my u8er delivery driver… youre a little 8itch for stealing my 8urger king order”. Finally, their lifestyle looks highly Perceiving: they are impulsive with substances and plans (“500 mg edi8le . help. im so high”, “i want to do st!mul@nts soon . 8ut im unsure where to look”), bounce between interests (anime, raves, strawpage, new twt accounts), and openly struggle with follow‑through and attention in “hi to those that i might 8e not replying to or something just know i have like the worsttt attention span”. Putting these together, their online persona fits ENFP: socially hungry, emotionally expressive, idea‑driven, and spontaneously chaotic rather than structured.
Some pickup lines for you
- So you’re rewatching HxH ‘mainly for Kurapika’ but I’m over here trying to convince you that *I’m* the real emotional support blond twink in your life. We could binge together and you can decide who’s the better 8a8y.
- You said you haven’t done cid in 3 years and miss it, but have you tried microdosing conversations with me instead? Zero comedown, mild euphoria, and I’ll even label your drug jar with my name.
- You: ‘i love edm… specifically ga88er and techno and jumpstyle oh my god i wanna do lines of the stuff.’ Me: I can’t promise you lines, but I *can* promise stupid little dances with you at 3am and screaming ‘coca cola HELLO’ at every drop.
- You made drug jars for your faves, started your sister on Homestuck, send your bestie tarot when they lose theirs, and order UberEats for your long-distance bf… I don’t need a reading to know you’re the kind of person it’d be really dangerous for me to fall for in the best way.
- You’re on shtwt, quitting vapes for cigs, plotting st!mul@nts, and still beefing with your Uber driver Joseph—meanwhile I’m just here like: have you considered one (1) low-dose relationship with someone who thinks your typing quirk is hot and your ‘esotericblades’ era was peak lore?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
18 • service worker with ADHD, tarot cards, and a rave playlist. Once got a vape as a work bonus and somehow made it my whole personality.– @youdidnthurtme
Your signature cocktail
The Ga88er DXM Starvequake
This cocktail is loud, chaotic, and wired, just like their rave/EDM obsession and stimulant curiosity from “i love edm music. specifically ga88er and techno and jumpstyle. oh my god. i wanna do lines of the stuff.” and “i want to do st!mul@nts soon . 8ut im unsure where to look”. The blue raspberry vodka nods to both the trashy vape life of “coworker gave me an extra vape she didnt want. 8itch this is 8lue razz i dont want it either ?” and the frutiger‑metro vape from “the vape my 8oss 8ought me is lowkey giving frutiger metro”. A Coca‑Cola lime reduction is there purely to scream their capslock thirst in “OLDER COWORKER MIGHT HAVE 8LLLOOOOOWWWW ??? HELLO !!!!!!!!HI !!!! coca cola HELLO”. Sparkling hard lemonade and edible glitter mirror the bright, dissociated glow of “everything is so 8right lol dxm for the win im lowkey a chud” and the lemon motif in their bio 🕊️🍋. Finally, a dash of absinthe/herbal liqueur plus the ‘8’‑shaped twist captures their pagan/witchy side from “worked a shift today n it was all my pagan coworkers there” and their dangerous, self‑destructive shtwt edge in “aaaaand we're 8ack on shtwt 🥹🥹🥹 i wont post anything 8ut do feel free to 8lock if youre uncomfy mwah”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
They show strong self‑preservation and ruthless self‑interest, core Slytherin traits. For example, they bluntly cut people off when it doesn’t benefit them socially or emotionally: “im not mean or anything 8ut FOLLOW ME 8ACK youre not cool for ignoring me n now u r getn unfollowed ho” and “8itch dont 8e surprised i unfollowed u im moot hunting n ur ass is tryna 8e nonchalant 8e my fucking oomf you whore”. They navigate "enemy territory" online and treat drama strategically rather than morally: “GOT A SHOUTOUT ON A CALLOUT POST im deeeep in enemy territory had to unfollowwww woooooof”, which sounds more like political maneuvering than Gryffindor-style principle. Their attitude toward substances and self‑experimentation is framed like power and control (“dxm for the win im lowkey a chud” and “mommy needs to try dmt”), leaning into pushing limits for their own edge. Even affection is expressed in an intense, possessive way, like “i LOVE my 8rother 8OUNCES LIKE THIS #ilovemybrother”, fitting Slytherin’s deep but often insular loyalties. While there are hints of loyalty and humor, the dominant pattern is ambitious social positioning, emotional intensity, and sharp, self‑protective behavior—very Slytherin-coded.
Your movie
Your song
Party Monster - The Weeknd
A well‑known song that fits them is “Party Monster” by The Weeknd because it balances hedonism, chaos, and vulnerability the way their timeline does. They openly romanticize substances and intense experiences, like when they say “everything is so 8right lol dxm for the win im lowkey a chud” and “500 mg edi8le . help. im so high”, which mirrors the song’s druggy, nocturnal vibe. Their shtwt/ED struggles and body fixation in posts like “MY HIP8ONES ARE VISI8LE 8LESSSS UPPP OMGGG” and “LALALALALA CANT HEAR YOU IM SKINNIER THAN YOU” echo the song’s glamorized self‑destruction and fixation on appearance. At the same time, their messy love life, intense attachments, and NSFW energy — from “mmmy 8oyfriend iss so” to “true love is ordering u8ereats for ur 8f who lives in a complete different state ❤️❤️❤️” — align with the song’s themes of lust, affection, and emotional chaos. Overall, the song captures a girl who lives fast, parties hard, feels everything too loudly, and treats the internet like a diary, just like this account.
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