Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self-aware: Shows awareness of how others see him, like wanting to be more than a stereotype in “espero que eu seja mais do que o loiro viado que aparece na tml de vcs, mas tbm um amigo”.
- Caring: Defends random people from online attacks in “pq vcs tão atacando uma mina aleatória mn vtnc porra” and values people who were there for him in “se lembre de quem estava lá por vc quando mais ngm estava (buscopan)”.
- Curious: Enjoys learning languages by translating songs in “eu fico ouvindo músicas em espanhol e eu fico tentando traduzir na marra... é assim q eu aprendo outras linguas” and is picking up Libras with his mom in “minha mãe tá criando um método de me fazer aprender libras na marra”.
- Humorous: Uses self-deprecating and situational humor, like joking about tweeting after an accident in “'tá passando mal mas tá no celular' primeiro q se eu sofresse um acidente de trânsito a primeira coisa q eu ia fazer ia ser tweetar 'eu n bati num Onix n né kkkkkk'”.
- Affectionate: Expresses warmth toward partner and friends in tweets like “being with you makes the flame burn good ❤️” and “falei q tava com medo de tá em um episódio depressivo e meu pai tá me levando pra praia amo ser filhinho do pai”.
Weaknesses:
- Impulsive: Talks about physical aggression in a heated, exaggerated way in “EU VOU DAR PORRADA NA MÃE DA MINHA NAMORADA”, suggesting strong reactive emotions.
- Self-destructive: Frequently jokes about pain and wanting to die, like in “Chico tô com vontade de morrer na contramão e atrapalhar o tráfego” and describing passing out from pain in “casualmente jogando Minecraft como se n tivesse desmaiado por uns 2 segundos de dor”.
- Judgmental: Uses harsh, categorical opinions about others, such as the strong criticism of Lana Del Rey in “ainda tô de xereca q a Lana ganhou ... tudo contra a sionista q beija a irmã e apropria cultura de povos originários”.
- Provocative: Engages in shock-value hypotheticals like “vc prefere se furar com 5 agulhas de heroína enferrujadas... ou passar 1 hora com um metaleiro ou gótico do twitter ?”, which can come off as needlessly antagonistic.
- Health-neglecting: Mentions serious physical issues while treating them lightly, as in “oi gente no episódio de hj vamos aprender pq se deve comer todas as refeições do dia pq se n vc adoece e fica tendo q tomar 3 medicamentos antes de qualquer coisa q for comer” and repeated references to strong medication and passing out.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
This user most closely matches Bart Simpson: irreverent, chaotic, funny, but with unexpected emotional depth. The chaotic humor and constant shitposting energy feel very Bart-like, from absurd hypotheticals like “vc prefere se furar com 5 agulhas de heroína enferrujadas e depois lamber chão de banheiro público ou passar 1 hora com um metaleiro ou gótico do twitter ?” to dark-comic bravado such as “casualmente jogando Minecraft como se n tivesse desmaiado por uns 2 segundos de dor if u ever see me fighting in a forest with a grizzly bear HELP THE BEAR”. There’s also a streak of performative menace that’s more joke than real threat, like “EU VOU DAR PORRADA NA MÃE DA MINHA NAMORADA”, very in line with Bart’s exaggerated rebelliousness. At the same time, you see flashes of sincerity and affection, e.g. wanting to be more than just a meme in someone’s feed in “espero que eu seja mais do que o loiro viado que aparece na tml de vcs, mas tbm um amigo” and the soft, romantic tone of “being with you makes the flame burn good ❤️”. The mix of adolescent chaos, gallows humor about health and pain, and genuine care for friends and family (like going to the beach with his dad in “falei q tava com medo de tá em um episódio depressivo e meu pai tá me levando pra praia amo ser filhinho do pai”) fits Bart’s core: a rebellious teen with a real heart underneath the jokes.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They read as more Extroverted than introverted: they openly joke about their image on the timeline (“espero que eu seja mais do que o loiro viado que aparece na tml de vcs, mas tbm um amigo”), share health scares with humor (“casualmente jogando Minecraft como se n tivesse desmaiado por uns 2 segundos de dor if u ever see me fighting in a forest with a grizzly bear HELP THE BEAR”), and talk frequently about friends, their girlfriend, and going out (“falei q tava com medo de tá em um episódio depressivo e meu pai tá me levando pra praia amo ser filhinho do pai”). Their humor and interests are very Intuitive: they jump between cultural references, abstract moral takes, and meta-commentary like treating Buscopan as emotional support (“se lembre de quem estava lá por vc quando mais ngm estava (buscopan)”) and musing about liking foods in adulthood as a kind of self-betrayal (“crescer e perceber que na verdade tu gosta de uma comida que tu odiava quando criança é tipo se libertar mas tbm trair a si mesmo simultaneamente”). They lean Feeling: they react strongly to perceived unfairness (“pq vcs tão atacando uma mina aleatória mn vtnc porra”), criticize people being cruel about mental illness (“tem pessoas q por conta de transtorno mental acreditam q real são uns personagens ... vão num psiquiatra, n fiquem na internet fazendo rp”), and emphasize being a good person without expecting rewards (“se vc espera recompensas talvez vc n seja uma pessoa realmente boa”). Finally, they seem distinctly Perceiving: their life is full of last‑minute shifts and improvisation (studying panic then remembering exams are over: “já ia abrir meu livro e começar a chorar estudando mas lembrei q minhas provas acabaram e amanhã é feriado”), chaotic health and sleep patterns, and spontaneous plans rather than structured routines (“É HJ A FIREFLY???? SÓ PQ EU VIM PRA PRAIA VTNC”). Altogether, the energetic social presence, abstract/hyperbolic humor, value-driven reactions, and flexible, unstructured lifestyle fit ENFP best.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said you hope you’re more than just “the blond gay guy” on my tml—good, because I was actually hoping you’d also be the disaster who tweets from the hospital bed while I’m there holding your Buscopan.
- Since you’re casually playing Minecraft after nearly passing out from pain, can we co‑op a world where the only damage we take is from falling for each other and the only intravenous thing is Buscopan + your tweets directly into my veins?
- You said anyone gets a few percent hotter with black hair—so if I show up blond like you, do we cancel each other out or do we just become a limited edition shiny duo people pray to queue with at the parada de ônibus?
- Your mom teaching you LIBRAS by forcing you to guess signs is iconic, but I already know the only sign I need with you: ‘oi, meu nome é seu futuro date, e eu quero aprender a dizer em sinais que você é muito bonito.’
- You learning Spanish by brute‑forcing song lyrics, surviving intramuscular meds, tweeting about wanting to die na contramão, and still screaming about Lana being a mess… I don’t want a manic pixie dream boy, I want you exactly like this—wanna come translate what’s going on between us next?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
17 • surviving Buscopan, exams & bad Wi‑Fi • once almost fainted from pain then logged on to tweet about it • art, chemistry, Minecraft, and overthinking– @yubiky
Your signature cocktail
Loiro Buscopan Beach
This drink starts with cachaça infused with grilled pineapple for the chaotic, sunny Brazilian teen energy who says they hope to be more than just “the loiro viado” in everyone’s timeline, as in “espero que eu seja mais do que o loiro viado que aparece na tml de vcs, mas tbm um amigo”. The cold brew coffee adds a hit of exhaustion and overwork, echoing the vibe of crying over exams before realizing there’s a holiday in “já ia abrir meu livro e começar a chorar estudando mas lembrei q minhas provas acabaram e amanhã é feriado pqp as vezes a vida é boa”. Red guava juice brings a sweet, slightly messy fruitiness for their love of food and shifting tastes, like discovering new favorites in “aos 17 anos eu descobri que eu gosto de arroz com charque” and reflecting on changing palate in “crescer e perceber que na verdade tu gosta de uma comida que tu odiava quando criança é tipo se libertar mas tbm trair a si mesmo simultaneamente”. A dash of saline solution nods to their ongoing health struggles and medicine jokes, such as “se lembre de quem estava lá por vc quando mais ngm estava (buscopan)” and the delight in “pqp Buscopan intravenoso as noites sabem como eu te esperei”. Finally, the smoked sugar rim balances sweetness with a burnt edge, mirroring their dark humor and dramatic threats like “EU VOU DAR PORRADA NA MÃE DA MINHA NAMORADA” and their flair for melodrama in “Chico tô com vontade de morrer na contramão e atrapalhar o tráfego”, making the cocktail both comforting and just a little unhinged.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
They consistently show a love of learning and analytical thinking that points strongly to Ravenclaw. They talk about teaching and studying with a kind of nerdy pride, as in “ensinei quimica basica pra ele” and the relief of finishing exams in “já ia abrir meu livro e começar a chorar estudando mas lembrei q minhas provas acabaram… as vezes a vida é boa”, which shows they take school seriously even while joking. Their curiosity-driven approach to languages in “eu fico ouvindo músicas em espanhol e eu fico tentando traduzir na marra… é assim q eu aprendo outras linguas” is very Ravenclaw: learning for its own sake, through self-imposed challenges. They like picking apart concepts and questions, e.g. the math puzzle in “gente 6÷2(2+1) 6÷2x3 6÷6 1 a da esquerda tá certa” and the joking but reflective food/childhood take in “crescer e perceber que na verdade tu gosta de uma comida que tu odiava quando criança é tipo se libertar mas tbm trair a si mesmo simultaneamente”. Even in casual comments, they show a tendency to refine ideas and call out sloppy thinking, such as correcting misconceptions about Jesus’ historicity in “caras Jesus n é uma figura mitológica ele real existiu agr se ele era filho de Deus ou n tu q escolhe acreditar”. This pattern of curiosity, self-aware humor, and interest in understanding how things work fits Ravenclaw more strongly than the other houses.
Your movie
Your song
Vienna - Billy Joel
The song Vienna fits them best because they literally reference it with “when will you realize vienna waits for you” and their timeline shows the same mix of teenage exhaustion, dark humor, and wanting time to figure life out. They joke about school pressure and burnout, like “já ia abrir meu livro e começar a chorar estudando mas lembrei q minhas provas acabaram e amanhã é feriado pqp as vezes a vida é boa”, which matches the song’s theme of slowing down and not letting anxiety eat you alive. Their health and stress tweets, such as “oi gente no episódio de hj vamos aprender pq se deve comer todas as refeições do dia pq se n vc adoece e fica tendo q tomar 3 medicamentos antes de qualquer coisa q for comer”, echo the song’s tension between pushing too hard and needing care. The way they balance self-deprecation and affection—“being with you makes the flame burn good ❤️”—also resonates with the song’s gentle reminder that love and small moments matter more than constant urgency. Overall, Vienna captures their vibe of being a dramatic, funny 17-year-old who’s overwhelmed but still hopeful, trying to grow at their own pace.
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