
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The user most closely matches Lisa Simpson, who is intensely opinionated, politically aware, and often alienated. Like Lisa, they express strong moral and political stances, e.g. their frustration with passive politics in “I've BEEN saying that democrats worry too much about people's feelings to get shit done. they're too fucking passive, nothing is ever going to change that way. physical action will always be the only way to see real change” and their critique of America in “honestly being dead would be so much better than living in this country”. They’re deeply online, media-literate, and hyper-invested in niche interests like hockey and specific games, similar to Lisa’s obsessive dedication to her causes and hobbies, as seen in “learning to play hockey feels pointless now that usah has banned me from everything” and “endfield graphics are fucking insane”. Their self-loathing, sensitivity, and feeling of being overlooked in social spaces echo Lisa’s chronic sense of isolation, like in “no it's just kinda hard to feel good about yourself when your tweets gets 100 views 0 likes” and “i would be sooo cool if I wasn't fat and 5'4”. Even their sharp, sometimes caustic judgment of others and deep emotional reactions to injustice, such as “and i will continue to despise white south africans” and “this has all been so off putting. it's so distasteful, disrespectful, and disappointing. i can't happily call these guys my team anymore.”, align with Lisa’s combination of empathy, anger, and idealism in a world that frequently disappoints her.

Your MBTI personality Type
They read as more introverted (I) than extroverted: they repeatedly mention feeling isolated and unnoticed, like in “no it's just kinda hard to feel good about yourself when your tweets gets 100 views 0 likes” and self‑deprecating posts such as “i would be sooo cool if I wasn't fat and 5'4”, suggesting a strong internal focus and social self‑consciousness rather than attention‑seeking. Their focus on big‑picture patterns, politics, and media analysis points to intuition (N): for example, “ts is so dystopian. like yeah, in america our government is attacking all of us randomly for no good reason” and “journalists have done more for america than our politicians” show abstract, systemic thinking rather than concrete sensory details. They appear heavily feeling (F)‑oriented, driven by values and emotional reactions: they talk about trans experience and injustice in “i hate when people preach 'trans joy.' there is no joy in the experience of transsexualism.” and moral anger in “i hope all homophobes end up loving someone of the same gender and hate themselves for the rest of time”, prioritizing personal ethics over detached logic. Their timeline feels spontaneous and reactive rather than structured, suggesting perceiving (P): they swing rapidly from intense hockey fandom (“minnesota wild if you can hear me bring gustavsson in”) to political frustration (“I've BEEN saying that democrats worry too much about people's feelings to get shit done… physical action will always be the only way to see real change”) without any clear long‑term planning or organized presentation. The combination of intense inner emotional life, value‑driven political stances, imagination and fandom involvement, and chaotic, vent‑style posting (including suicidal ideation in “i should lowk just delete my account and die tbh”) fits best with an INFP profile.

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16 • Illinois. Aspiring hockey player banned by USAH, still watching every Wild game. Once hyperventilated over a goal and called it the best day of my life.– @yutanethinker

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail starts with a matcha-infused vodka shot for their sharp, hyper-online energy and late-night hockey grind, echoing the frantic vibes of “why has this january felt like five years” and “learning to play hockey feels pointless now that usah has banned me from everything”. Sour cherry and lime cordial brings a bright but tart sweetness that matches their devotion to the Wild and specific players, as in “GUS I LOVE YOU” and “quinn has been so cute this game oh my god 😭😭”, while still staying a little bitter about losses. Tonic water with a dash of smoked salt represents the constant political and social frustration in lines like “ts is so dystopian. like yeah, in america our government is attacking all of us randomly for no good reason” and “journalists have done more for america than our politicians”. A splash of bitter herbal liqueur captures their raw pessimism and self-directed venom in tweets like “i should lowk just delete my account and die tbh” and “honestly being dead would be so much better than living in this country”. Finally, it’s served over crushed ice with a bruised mint leaf, a small, soft note of hope and tenderness for their blorbos and comfort media—seen when they say “i feel so maternal over perlica. like that's daughter ☹️☹️☹️” and “im hyperventilating THATS MY BABYYYYYYYYYY OHHHHHHHHH YUTANE OHHHHHHHHHHH”—proving that under all the cynicism, they still care way too much.

Your Hogwarts House
They show a strong Gryffindor-style willingness to take bold stances and endorse direct, even confrontational action, like when they argue that “physical action will always be the only way to see real change” in politics: "I've BEEN saying that democrats worry too much about people's feelings to get shit done. they're too fucking passive, nothing is ever going to change that way. physical action will always be the only way to see real change". Their timeline is full of emotionally intense, impulsive expressions that read like charging into battle rather than quietly scheming, such as "i hate you so fucking much hulu live tv i seriously hope you fucking die" and the hyperbolic sports rage of "GET WALLSTEDT OUT OF HERE NEEEOOWWW". They also express fierce protectiveness over people and players they care about, like calling one player “daughter” in "i feel so maternal over perlica. like that's daughter ☹️☹️☹️" and demanding others "leave quinn ALONE" in "these guys need to leave quinn ALONE bruh 😭", which fits Gryffindor’s protective, ride-or-die energy. Even when discussing social issues, their language leans toward moral outrage and direct curses at bigots, as in "i hope all homophobes end up loving someone of the same gender and hate themselves for the rest of time", emphasizing bold, emotional conviction over subtle strategy. Taken together—the impulsive outbursts, combative political stance, and strong instinct to defend their "team"—they align most closely with Gryffindor rather than the more cerebral Ravenclaw or strategic Slytherin.

Your movie

Your song
A song that best fits them is “i want to be buried in my bedroom” by adzia, with its mix of raw depressive honesty, internet-age angst, and dark humor. They repeatedly express a desire to escape and disappear, like when they say “i should lowk just delete my account and die tbh” and “honestly being dead would be so much better than living in this country”, which lines up with the song’s themes of wanting to retreat from everything. The track captures that specific teenage/online bitterness and detachment, similar to their posts like “no it's just kinda hard to feel good about yourself when your tweets gets 100 views 0 likes” and “i would be sooo cool if I wasn't fat and 5'4”. At the same time, they still care deeply about their interests—hockey, niche media, and politics—which mirrors the way the song feels both numb and intensely emotional at once. Their mix of cynicism and vulnerability, especially in tweets like “i hate when people preach 'trans joy.' there is no joy in the experience of transsexualism.”, lines up closely with the song’s anti-platitude, brutally honest tone.

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yutanethinker
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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