
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The best match is Lisa Simpson: emotionally intense, hyper self-analytical, and very online-core for her age. Like Lisa, this user mixes genuine idealism and moral outrage with self-loathing and depressive spirals, moving from calling out sanctimonious fandom behavior (“the byler community has literally brought me nothing but stress the past couple of days why are yall so god damn sanctimonious 😭”) to deep insecurity about being wanted (“is it so bad to want to be wanted 😭 … as long as somebody actually wants me and isnt looking for an experiment 😬”). They have strong, sometimes pedantic opinions about media and social issues, very Lisa-coded, from defending Mitski’s discography (“bitches who say ‘real mitski fans dont listen to mistki’ were never real mitski fans in the first place. she has such an insane discography…”) to explaining eating disorders in a nuanced way (“btw eating disorders arent just 'wanting to be skinny'… sometimes its GENETIC.”). There’s also the mix of dark humor and genuine crisis that echoes Lisa’s most despondent episodes, like cutting and suicidal ideation framed through fandom (“see im at the point where im cutting cuz byler aint canon cmon now”, “byler has distracted me from sh for so long… once its over… i might genuinely kill myself”). Underneath the chaos, they’re introspective and craving recognition (“i get such a crazy urge everytime im with someone i care about to ask shit like ‘do you think im pretty’ ‘am i annoying’ ‘do you wish i was dead’ i wish i wasnt lowkey a coward i wish i could be fucking acknowledged for once”), which fits Lisa’s combination of brilliance, sensitivity, and feeling unseen. Overall, they read like a much more online, darker-gen Z version of Lisa: smart, passionate, hurt, and constantly reaching for meaning through media and discourse.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Extraverted: they frequently seek interaction, validation, and connection, asking things like “do you have a crush on me” and “sometimes i wonder if people stalk me and like if you still check my profile hit me up im so serious im so fucking easy just hit me up”, and celebrate follower milestones like “I have 1 six seven followers this is huge”. They read as iNtuitive because they constantly spin experiences into broader meanings and exaggerations—e.g. “why do humans die over the dumbest shit. Fym main cause of heart attacks in winter is shoveling the driveway man we should have been extinct years ago” and relating fictional characters to complex mental health projections in “i wanna write a fanfiction of my favroite and most relatable character (mike wheeler) struggling with stuff i struggle with”. They are strongly Feeling-oriented: their posts are raw, emotional, and centered on relationships and self-worth, as in “is it so bad to want to be wanted 😭… as long as somebody actually wants me and isnt looking for an experiment” and “i get such a crazy urge everytime im with someone i care about to ask shit like ‘do you think im pretty’ ‘am i annoying’”, even when they sometimes cloak it in sarcasm or anger like “nah i do wish death on people I never gaf… if you use your time ruining other people’s time then you shouldn’t get any time at all”. Finally, they appear Perceiving: their life seems chaotic, reactive, and unstructured—swinging between drastic moods (“i just might be having the worst 2 weeks ever”) and impulsive decisions about substances or meds like “i wanna drink but i think ive learned my lesson…but… buzzbal…..” and “i start accutane tomorrow apparently it makes you super anxious i can’t wait to kill myself”, with little sign of long-term planning or structured routines. Putting this together, their mix of outward emotional expression, abstract/interpretive thinking, intense relational focus, and spontaneity best fits ENFP.

Some pickup lines for you

Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Teen fangirl of Byler & Yellowjackets, part-time rant machine, full-time survivor. Once fainted at a game and still live-tweeted the drama.– @z0mbieslasher

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is loud, chaotic, and way too strong on purpose—just like someone who says “im rucking spiraling so bad rn its not even funny” and still shows up to tweet through it. Overproof spiced rum is the self-destructive edge and black humor of “dont try to kys guys if it fails you might get a ton of chronic minor inconveniences that will make you mad forever”. Cold brew coffee is for the exhausted, jittery, ED-gallows-humor vibe of “i like coffee because i dont even have to stick my fingers down my throat to throw it back up”. Sour cherry liqueur brings the sweet-but-acidic yearning of “is it so bad to want to be wanted 😭” and all the messy crush tweets. The ranch-dusted rim is a direct nod to “they call me ranch cuz i be dressing” from their bio, making it weird, salty, and unforgettable. Finally, the glittery energy drink splash captures their hyper-fandom chaos, like cutting and coping through Stranger Things in “guys i havent interacted with shedtwt in a hot minute i promise i still cut myself i just watch byler edits while i do it now”.

Your Hogwarts House
They show a strong Slytherin streak of vindictiveness and intense us‑vs‑them thinking, like when they say “nah i do wish death on people I never gaf. We all have a limited time and if you use your time ruining other people’s time then you shouldn’t get any time at all” and “when someone wrongs me and now any misfortune they experience… its ‘yeah fucking bitch get thryre ass YEAH FUCKING PUSSY!’”. There’s also a sharp, confrontational self‑preservation in lines like “to all the bitch ass hoes that hate me the most, oh yeah I hate you too!!” and “bro bro bro imma kms iimma kms i hope they die and me too i am a slab of meat and deserve everything that vomes my way but also they are an asshole fuck them”, which fits Slytherin’s tendency to lash out rather than seek harmony. They’re also highly image‑ and status‑conscious in a way that tracks with Slytherin ambition and social awareness, joking about being hot vs. “cutie patootie” in “i keep trying to be hot but then i just turn out cutie patootie again and give up” and caring about follower counts in “I have 1 six seven followers this is huge”. Their willingness to drop someone who harmed them, as in “Dropped my friend that sa’d me fonally who cheered”, shows a cold, decisive boundary‑setting that aligns more with Slytherin self‑protection than Hufflepuff forgiveness. While they have emotional vulnerability and dark humor, the dominant pattern is combative, self‑protective, and status‑aware—hallmarks of Slytherin rather than the other houses.

Your movie

Your song
Doses & Mimosas fits them almost perfectly, both in chaotic vibe and in explicit self-identification. They directly quote and scream the song in a tweet: “TO ALL THE BITCH ASS HOES THAT HATE ME THE MOST, OH YEAH I HATE YOU TOOO!! … DOSES AND MIMOSAS CHAMPAGNE AND COCAINE HELP 2 GET ME T”, and they even fantasize about it soundtracking their future: “do you think my future wife will let me play doses and mimosas at my wedding”. The song’s mix of bitterness, self-destruction, and party energy reflects how they talk about themselves and others, like “nah i do wish death on people I never gaf. We all have a limited time and if you use your time ruining other people’s time then you shouldn’t get any time at all”. Its themes of masking pain with substances and humor mirrors tweets such as “hi guys im okay i took a blinker” and “im ne.ver youching alc again im slammed omg”. Overall, the song captures their loud, messy, hurt, and darkly funny way of coping with everything around them.

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z0mbieslasher
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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