Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Intense Loyalty: Des is a dedicated fan of The Hardkiss, even writing fanfiction and ranking their entire discography.
- Artistic Talent: They create original sketches of characters and have considered starting commissions to support Ukraine.
- Social Awareness: Des holds strong stances on global issues, demanding accountability regarding conflicts and advocating against imperialism.
- Self-Awareness: They openly admit to being late to certain fandom trends and acknowledge their own hyper-fixations.
- Multilingualism: The profile demonstrates fluency in English, Ukrainian, and Finnish, often switching between them effortlessly.
Weaknesses:
- Extreme Hyper-fixation: Des struggles to focus on anything else besides tweeting about Yulia Sanina, affecting their productivity.
- Neglecting Health: They mention fainting during practice and battling eating issues that cause them misery.
- Academic Procrastination: Des admits to failing exams because they prioritize social media activity over studying.
- Impulsive Emotionality: They often post about being in horrible pain or 'losing it' over minor inconveniences like shipping delays.
- Hostile Gatekeeping: The user frequently posts DNI (Do Not Interact) lists and blocks others based on differing opinions on celebrities.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Des embodies the high-achieving, justice-oriented, and hyper-fixated nature of Lisa Simpson. Much like Lisa’s intense devotion to her saxophone and jazz, Des is a self-proclaimed “no.1 the hardkiss enthusiast” who admits that their “special interest so crazy your parents got you a tryzub shirt” consumes their life. They share Lisa's strong moral compass and political activism, explicitly stating, “if you do not hold russia accountable the way you do israel you are not welcome here”. Despite being an intellectual who critiques “ai slop”, they also experience Lisa’s signature existential dread, frequently posting about being “in horrible pain” or feeling “miserable” due to their self-awareness.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
Des demonstrates Introversion through their intense, solitary fixation on a 'special interest' and hesitation to post their face, stating “i aint posting my face on public like this”. They lean toward Intuition (N), focusing on abstract feelings, future possibilities like a “late next year” tattoo, and creative pursuits like “bad ronance sketch”. Their Feeling (F) preference is evident in their emotionally charged language, such as being “in horrible pain” or describing a singer as “absolute motherquake”. Finally, the Perceiving (P) trait is shown by their admitted lack of organization, noting they “need to get my sleep schedule under control” and often tweeting about spontaneous, messy experiences.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a Yulia Sanina fanpage? Because even though I'm five years late to the party, I’m ready to spend every waking hour tweeting about you.
- Forget the Helsinki commuter trains—the only thing I want to get trampled by is the absolute motherquake of your cuntitude.
- If we were in Tampere, I’d take you out for hotpot, but I promise not to let Will Byers turn it into the Last Supper.
- I may not have a golden Julia card, but I’d still rank you no. 1 above even 'Залізна ластівка' on my personal charts.
- Are you a package from Nova Poshta? Because I’ve been tracking your location since Lviv and I’m losing my marbles waiting for you to arrive.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Helsinki-based digital artist and professional Yulia Sanina historian. Once survived a commuter train stampede; now focused on avoiding exams and AI-generated slop.– @zal1znalastivka
Your signature cocktail
The Iron Swallow's Motherquake
This cocktail is a chaotic yet stylish tribute to the “no.1 the hardkiss enthusiast”, blending Finnish roots with a deep Ukrainian obsession. The honey vodka base represents the sweetness of being “too yuliapilled”, while the bitter absinthe rinse reflects their “unexplainable sadness and despair” on birthdays. The espresso shot provides the high-strung energy of someone who “fainted twice in practice” but still manages to rank Finnish cities. Finally, the silver glitter honors the “absolute motherquake rated 9.9 in the cuntitude scale” that is Yulia Sanina, serving as a glittering reminder of their “special interest so crazy” it defines their entire brand.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Des consistently displays the Gryffindor trait of standing up for their beliefs, even when it involves confrontation, such as when they “got yelled at by the ruzzian embassy #yolo 😂✌️✌️”. Their blunt, impulsive nature is evident in their unapologetic stance on political issues, stating, “i Know what i Said. and i Will Stand behind my Words” and demanding others “get more russophobic now”. This fiery, principled behavior, combined with a willingness to openly mock perceived injustices—like blocking a celebrity for overcharging fans because “melovin tried to grt people to pay 4 000 ₴ for a picture with him”—solidifies their place in the house of the brave and the bold.
Your movie
Your song
Залізна ластівка (Zalizna Lastivka) - The Hardkiss
The song Залізна ластівка (Iron Swallow) is the ultimate anthem for des, whose very username zal1znalastivka is a direct reference to this track and the corresponding album they ranked as their “no. 1”. The lyrics' theme of a resilient, soaring figure mirrors des’s intense, self-described “yuliarot” and their unwavering devotion to lead singer Yulia Sanina. Des exhibits the 'iron' strength mentioned in the title through their vocal political stances, stating “if you do not hold russia accountable the way you do israel you are not welcome here”. Ultimately, the song encapsulates their identity as a “no.1 the hardkiss enthusiast” who is even planning a “жива і не залізна tattoo” to immortalize their favorite band.
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