ze_DVE
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In a relationship:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Humorous: His sarcastic takes, like 'Lol. Lmao even,' and self-deprecating humor about family life highlight his comedic side.
- Family-Oriented: Tweets about his wife and kids, such as '6yo daughter has learned that she can make her mother jealous,' show his dedication to family.
- Straightforward: His disdain for performative displays, like 'I specifically don't buy from you if you do this identitarian bullshit,' reflects his practical nature.
- Critical Thinker: His critiques of politics and society, such as 'Watching leftoids and rightoids choke on their own dicks,' show his analytical mindset.
- Resilient: His perseverance through misdiagnosed injuries ('Civilian doctor: you have a strained oblique') demonstrates his toughness.
Weaknesses:
- Cynical: His critical tone in tweets like 'Totally not a money laundering NGO pushing climate fear...' shows a tendency toward skepticism.
- Blunt: Tweets like 'Fucking Indians brought flint arrows...' reveal a lack of tact that may alienate others.
- Opinionated: His strong takes, such as 'Now is the time to wipe this pathetic excuse for a nation off the map,' show he can be polarizing.
- Stubborn: His unwillingness to compromise, as seen in 'How bout you pay for your own insecurity,' suggests he can be inflexible.
- Impulsive: Spending $1900 on earrings after years of no gifts ('Spend $1900 on shiny rocks...') shows a tendency for rash decisions.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
Like Homer, 'meatball' is a family man with a sarcastic sense of humor and a knack for getting into absurd situations. His turkey-cooking anecdote ('Waking up at 7 on a holiday to cook a 13lb turkey...') mirrors Homer's well-meaning but chaotic efforts. His mischievous dog and humorous takes on parenting ('6yo daughter has learned...') also align with Homer's relatability and love for family. Both are flawed yet endearing.
Your MBTI personality Type
ISTP
He aligns with ISTP traits: independent, practical, and action-oriented. His straightforward critiques, like 'This is dumb. Stop it,' show his logical, no-nonsense approach. His hands-on attitude ('Building a machine gun today') reflects ISTPs' love for tinkering and problem-solving. His sarcastic humor and military interest fit the adventurous, pragmatic ISTP personality.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a 13lb turkey? Because I’d wake up at 7 a.m. just to roast you perfectly.
- Are you a gym injury? Because you’ve got me feeling weak in the knees.
- Are you a tactical radio? Because I feel like we’d have unmatched communication.
- Are you my mischievous dog? Because you’ve squeezed under my defenses.
- Are you a spicy blanket? Because you’ve got me all wrapped up in you.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Sarcastic dad, military enthusiast, and gym-goer. Not affiliated with any ideology, just here to critique leftoids, rightoids, and everything in between. Wisconsinite with a soft spot for family chaos and mischievous pets.– @ze_DVE
Your signature cocktail
Meatball Mule
The 'Meatball Mule' reflects his bold, no-nonsense personality. Whiskey represents his strong, straightforward nature, while ginger beer adds a sharp kick, much like his sarcastic humor ('Lol. Lmao even'). Lime juice brings a tangy twist, echoing his critical takes ('Watching leftoids and rightoids choke on their own dicks'). The dash of hot sauce mirrors his fiery, opinionated streak.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
His cunning, pragmatism, and ambition align with Slytherin traits. His sarcastic critiques, such as 'Watching leftoids and rightoids choke on their own dicks,' show a sharp, strategic mind. His focus on family ('6yo daughter has learned...') also reflects Slytherin's value of loyalty. However, his bluntness and polarizing opinions, like 'Now is the time to wipe this pathetic excuse for a nation off the map,' reveal a darker, more controversial side that fits the house's reputation.
Your movie
Your song
Fortunate Son - Creedence Clearwater Revival
This anti-establishment anthem fits his critical takes on politics and society, such as 'Ah yes, VA benefits are clearly the problem...' Its military undertones resonate with his enthusiasm for the subject ('Military bearing. Unmatched'). The song's rebellious spirit mirrors his outspoken, no-nonsense personality.
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