zelthezealous
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They line up most closely with Lisa Simpson: smart, anxious, socially aware, and often overthinking everything. Like Lisa, they care about politics and social issues, e.g. complaining about anti‑vax and abstinence rhetoric around HPV shots and noting they were vaccinated and autistic beforehand in “so like they want to make HPV vaccines mandatory for preteens teens in my country...”, and worrying about demographics and how people see them only as a fertility statistic in “everytime i see someone, be it from my country or other, talking about the total fertility rate in my country...”. Their introspective, slightly depressive, overburdened student energy also fits Lisa’s vibe, as seen in tweets about uni work and projects like “finished writing a project and now I need to put 3 video clips together...” and “sent in 2 projects serotonin ⬆️”. At the same time, they’re snarky and self-deprecating in a very Lisa way, joking about loneliness and mental health in “when I think about loneliness okay just thought about it now one of my uncles never got married but at least he has his siblings nearby mine are not and i have 0 relationship with them.” and “MY MOM FORGOT TO BUY MY HERBAL CALMING PILLS PH MY FUCKING GOD I HAD TO CHUG DOWN THE ALCOHOL BASED DROPS...”. Their nerdy media/gaming fixation (Naruto wiki, Limbus Company, old GBA emulators, 2DS nostalgia) in “I'm still using the same dogshit GBA emulator for phone that I found 11 years ago...” and “brought a 2ds to uni just to end up not using it bc there's not enough time” also mirrors Lisa’s obsessive interests and tendency to deep-dive into niche topics.

Your MBTI personality Type
They read as more introverted than extroverted: they often mention boredom and solitary activities (gaming, uni work, cooking alone) and discomfort with people around, like not wanting to cook when their dad is home in “i want to make hamburger steaks but at the same time my dad is home almost 24/7…”, and watching anime carefully so family doesn’t see NSFW scenes in “there are nsfw scenes and i need to pull this shit off again while watching (my room is next to toilet)”. Their thinking style mixes concrete daily details with pattern-y, conceptual musing, but the frequent meta-commentary (media, politics, systems) and odd connections like the Naruto puppet idea in “funniest discovery of today… imagine someone pulling up with extra 2” and AI / media concerns in “will the gr*k media incident cause goverments to finally start controlling A|?” lean toward intuition (N). They come off as thinking (T): they’re blunt, sarcastic, and analytical about people and systems, e.g. calling Miitopia “boring as fuck” in “miitopia is boring as fuck… NEVER SEEN ANYONE TALK ABOUT THE GAMEPLAY LOOP ONLY CREATOR GLAZE” and criticizing anti-vax rhetoric with a dry factual aside in “got vaccinated 10 years ago and im fine”. Their life feels relatively unstructured and reactive rather than tightly planned, showing perceiving (P): they complain about forgetting items and rewriting work in “forgot to write 'left stub axle' 2 fucking times and rewrote the front page 3 times” and missing fancy cereal after a coupon trip in “forgot to buy one fucking thing that is FANCY CEREAL fuuuuuuuck”. Overall, the combination of introversion, analytical humor, system-oriented observations, and somewhat chaotic day-to-day execution best fits INTP.

Some pickup lines for you

Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
21 • he/they • Polish uni goblin with a cursed 2DS, strong opinions on milk flavors, and vaccination enthusiasm. Once aced an oral exam in a white dress shirt.– @zelthezealous

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is built on hazelnut cold brew because they’re literally suffering for hazelnuts yet keep eating them, as seen in “holy fuck why do hazelnuts keep getting stuck in my teeth worst nut”. A sharp vodka shot nods to the joking family alcohol culture and chaotic kitchen vibes in “do you need anything from the store? M: buy sour cream D: buy a 0.5L (of vodka)...” and the stressed but functioning student life. Sour cherry syrup represents their mix of bitterness and sweetness about politics, health, and life, like in “sometimes I feel like I should join one of minor political parties that are in my city because holy fuck this place sucks...” and their HPV/autism rant in “got vaccinated 10 years ago and im fine”. Sparkling water adds an experimental fizz, matching their chaotic cooking experiments in “'trust the process' dish i made it up” and their tendency to ramble about random niche topics. It’s all poured over crushed ice for the perpetually freezing, overcaffeinated vibe of “im turning into an ice cube btw” and the ever-present exam & project grind in “sent in 2 projects serotonin ⬆️”.

Your Hogwarts House
They show a strong analytical and curiosity-driven mindset that fits Ravenclaw best. They constantly pick apart systems and ideas, like when they break down demographic data about their city and fertility rates in a very statistical way: “my city (yes it'sa city) has slightly under 70k people based on the data from general census 13k people are going to die in nearest future (old age and complications related to it)” and “everytime i see someone … talking about the total fertility rate in my country, I'm getting a bit scared. as sometimes I'm only seen as something that could increase a statistics in a graph”. They enjoy niche knowledge and linguistic / technical detail, e.g. “because of cold war and Poland having ties to the USSR, we have 2 words for astronaut: kosmonauta… and astronauta… some people still get butthurt about using one over the other” and “due to exams requiring black pens… I favored them for long time… bought a blue pen pack of a nice brand holy fuck how did I write before”, which shows a fussy, detail-loving brain. Their media interests are also very lore- and analysis-heavy: they dissect Naruto mechanics with goofy but clearly thought-through hypotheticals like “funniest discovery… 6 fingered puppet user since the puppet limit for a master is 10, since 10 fingers imagine someone pulling up with extra 2”, and they dive into Project Moon / Limbus Company lore and naming conventions in depth, as in “going through Naruto wiki” and “I've learned that LoR had Renaud which is Rinaldo.”. Even their complaints are often about tools, processes, and systems, like raging at Word’s ToC function in a very technical way: “FUCK WORD WHY DOES THAT PIECE OF GARBAGE DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY UPDATE TABLE OF CONTENTS”, or analyzing vaccine policy and diagnostic systems with a matter-of-fact tone in “HPV vaccines mandatory… people… saying… vaccines will give autism (I had it diagnosed beforehand) got vaccinated 10 years ago and im fine” and “I probably still need to call it AS in formal context in my country because these idiots still havent finished changing to ICD11”. While they show some Hufflepuff-like hard work with uni projects and some Slytherin-like self-preservation around politics and careers, the consistent pattern is a brain that likes to pick at details, systems, lore, and words for fun, which is quintessentially Ravenclaw.

Your movie

Your song
A fitting song for Zel is Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus, because it captures that mix of sarcastic humor, outsider vibes, and everyday struggle they show in their tweets. They juggle uni stress, health issues, and family weirdness with a kind of exhausted irony, like when they rant about their delayed surgery in “MY WISDOM TEETH REMOVAL GOT MOVED AGAIN YOU CANNOT BE FUCKING SERIOUS” or joke about career options in “one of my career options is a lightbulb factory... except I don't think I'll go there bc these assholes fired my uncle”. The song’s theme of feeling like a misfit fits their social and political frustration, seen in “sometimes I feel like I should join one of minor political parties... because holy fuck this place sucks” and their worries about being reduced to demographics in “sometimes I'm only seen as something that could increase a statistics in a graph”. Despite that, they keep a wry, self-aware tone about depression and autism, like in “I was thinking about falling for one site (AWFUL WHILE IM DEALING WITH DEPRESSION HOLE)” and “got vaccinated 10 years ago and im fine”, which parallels the song’s mix of angst and dry, almost comedic storytelling. Their life of GBA emulators, Naruto and Limbus brainrot, and cooking experiments—shown in “I'm still using the same dogshit GBA emulator for phone that I found 11 years ago” and “'trust the process' dish i made it up”—rounds out the very DIY, slightly chaotic dirtbag energy the song embodies.

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