Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Intellectual Curiosity: She actively seeks out long-form commentary for Quillette and expresses a desire to “learn about the Vietnam War” while traveling.
- Civic Engagement: Zoë demonstrates commitment to her causes by “speaking... in front of an estimated 3000 people at Sydney Town Hall” in support of Iranian protesters.
- Fitness Discipline: Her commitment to bodybuilding is evident in her gym routines, such as lifting “32kg kettlebells each side” at a body weight of 58kg.
- Strong Convictions: She fearlessly defends her views on Zionism and Western values, even when “surrounded by woke bullies” in the arts scene.
- Appreciative Traveler: She expresses gratitude for her heritage, noting that “travelling always makes me so grateful to be Australian.”
Weaknesses:
- Generalizing Rhetoric: She often applies broad labels to religious groups, such as calling “Burqas... terrifying” or criticizing Islamic schools as a whole.
- Cultural Insensitivity: She admits to “feeling very racist” when frustrated by Indian and Chinese families at a buffet.
- Harsh Elitism: She dismissively critiques the intelligence of others, remarking that at the Ivy, the “median IQ is so low.”
- Abrasive Communication: Zoë uses dehumanizing language, frequently referring to political opponents as “scumbags,” “trash,” or “cancerous.”
- Social Impatience: She expresses low tolerance for cultural differences abroad, stating she “could never live in Asia” due to local habits like snorting snot.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Zoe matches Lisa Simpson through her intellectual ambition and role as a content director and podcast host for Quillette, reflecting Lisa's scholarly and contrarian nature. Much like Lisa, she is highly opinionated on social issues and isn't afraid to be the lone voice of dissent, as seen when she discusses "the Muslim leftwing alliance" or critiques "woke bullies" in the arts. While Zoe leans further right than Lisa, she shares a similar academic elitism, commenting on how the "median IQ is so low" at social venues. Ultimately, both personalities are defined by being "Very Enthusiastic" about their convictions and frequently feeling intellectually alienated from the "average Joe" surrounding them.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTP
Zoë demonstrates Extroversion (E) through her high social engagement and public-facing role, describing herself as a “Very Enthusiastic Person” who enjoys “speaking... in front of an estimated 3000 people”. Her Intuition (N) is evident in her preference for “long form and considered commentary” over simple news, and her interest in abstract cultural shifts like “the vibe shift on Australia Day.” She leans heavily toward Thinking (T) by using blunt, provocative logic and debating “dawah scumbags,” often prioritizing objective data over emotional sensitivity, such as when she seeks “a breakdown of the prevalence of forced child marriage by cultural/religious group.” Finally, her Perceiving (P) trait shows in her “mostly post ‘n’ ghost” style and high “openness,” frequently adopting a contrarian or playful tone like her joke about becoming a “re Reconquista” in Spain.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a 32kg kettlebell? Because even though I’m just a 58kg lass, I’m ready to pick you up and never let you go.
- Forget the 'post ‘n’ ghost'—I’d rather be the Camille Paglia to your enthusiastic intellectual debate any night.
- I promise I’m more 'patriotic Australian' than an AI thot, and I’ve got way better chat than a One Nation bot.
- Is your name Sydney? Because you’ve got me feeling more Dionysian than a summer night at Bondi Beach.
- I’d travel anywhere with you—from Spain for a 're-Reconquista' to a honeymoon in Somaliland, as long as we’re back in time for congee.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Content Director @Quillette. Once out-lifted a gym bro with 32kg kettlebells. Exploring the friction of culture, the history of war, and the best congee in Sydney.– @zoecabina
Your signature cocktail
The Post ’n’ Ghost Spritz
This drink is built on a base of patriotic Australian Gin, reflecting her pride in the “pristine beaches” of her home and her love for “Australian flags” on display. The Manischewitz syrup and bitter aperitivo represent her staunch “Zionist” stance and her frequent, biting critiques of “hysterical Islamist” movements. Given her “bodybuilding” lifestyle, the mix is topped with fizzy electrolyte water for recovery after she hits the “32kg kettlebells”. It is a high-energy, uncompromising cocktail served to someone who identifies as “very liberal by nature” but possesses a palate for the “Dionysian” and the sharp.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Zoe displays classic Slytherin traits of ambition and resourcefulness, identifying as a “Content director and podcast host @quillette” who is highly motivated by individual success, as seen in her quip “Yeah I’m collectivist Collecting this cash 💸”. Her self-described “mostly post ‘n’ ghost” approach and her focus on status—noting things like “median IQ is so low” at certain venues—suggests a preference for elite circles over general social harmony. Furthermore, her willingness to engage in provocative discourse while prioritizing her own brand, even joking about AI being used to “put me out of work” as a “thot,” highlights a cunning and self-aware use of her public image for professional advancement. Ultimately, her desire for personal agency and her unapologetic focus on power dynamics align her most closely with the house of ambition.
Your movie
Your song
National Anthem - Lana Del Rey
This song perfectly captures Zoë’s blend of high-society aesthetics, intense patriotism, and controversial 'it-girl' persona. Her deep investment in Australian identity is evident in her praise for “patriotic Australian thots” and her observation that “this year is even better” regarding the abundance of Australian flags on the beach. Like the song's themes of money and status, she critiques those with low “median IQ” at elite venues like the Ivy while maintaining her role as a content director. Her self-description as a “crop top trad wife” mirrors the song’s glamorous yet traditional-adjacent imagery. Ultimately, the track reflects her provocative public life where she mixes political commentary with a self-aware, “Dionysian” socialite energy.
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