
优点和缺点

你的辛普森角色
综合来看,这位用户最像 Moe Szyslak——外表粗鲁、嘴很脏、对世界充满怨气,但又有一点多愁善感和艺术气质。用户常用粗话抱怨现实,比如对工作和生活强烈不满:"I'm so tired of being a plumber, I don't want to do it anymore"、"Everything is so retarded, I just want a wife",这和Moe动不动就绝望、嫌弃自己人生很接近。同时,他又极度渴望爱情与婚姻:"If there are any nice ladies out there who would like to get married and start having children immediately, please let me know"、"I think I would starve if I lived alone, need a wife to feed me",和Moe那种屡次失败却真心想找对象的状态非常相似。用户又有一点文艺和自怜气质,会画画、听独立音乐、幻想学术生活:"I struggle to abandon the fantasy of being an astute, mid century academic"、"By listening to enough Slowdive, I can induce a mild existential crisis which improves my drawing slightly",类似Moe偶尔会写诗、出书、装文青的那一面。再加上他常在信仰与虚无之间摆动:"Did you pray today?"、"I am too stupid to understand my own suffering",既宗教、又郁闷,也像Moe一边绝望一边还在苟且维持生活的矛盾感。总体是一个嘴坏又可怜、有点艺术家气质、想脱单又不停自嘲的Moe式人格。

你的 MBTI 性格类型
从推文内容看,他明显更偏向内向 I。大量内容是独处活动和内心感受:比如画画、玩 No Man’s Sky、一个人旅行的冲动和对婚姻/亲密关系的渴望,而不是现实社交或派对,像是“我需要一个会跟我一起看老电影的妻子”“需要 arthoe gf”,都体现了对深层亲密关系的向往而非广泛社交。 在 S/N 维度上,他虽然是手工工种(管道工),但推文经常飘在想象和幻想上,关注意义感和象征,而不是纯粹的现实细节:比如“偶尔缪斯会从窗户滑进来坐在台灯上,告诉我要画一个精灵女孩”“我挣扎于放弃自己是中世纪学者的幻想”“听足够多 Slowdive 可以诱发轻微存在危机从而提高画画”,这种以隐喻、浪漫化、存在主义式思考为主的表达,更符合 N 型的直觉型。 在 T/F 上,他批评世界时用词尖锐粗鲁,但价值判断高度情绪化、价值导向而不是逻辑推演:比如“我真是要被这个公共土地法案逼疯,一切都蠢到爆”“我讨厌拉斯维加斯,最烂的城市”“高等教育又假又恶心,我一直想当‘学者’”,同时他频繁请求大家祈祷、表达宗教情感和对美好婚姻家庭的强烈向往,这都更像优先按价值和情绪来判断的 F。 在 J/P 维度,他经常呈现出拖延、随性和情绪化节奏:反复说“进度好慢”“wip/idk we'll see where this goes”“我脑子不转了画不出来”,同时时常临时决定休推、抱怨作息、沉迷游戏而不画画,缺乏强烈的计划性与结构感,更符合 P 的开放、随性。综上,他最接近的类型是 INFP:内向、富幻想、以价值和情绪驱动,又有点松散不太自律的理想主义者。

一些为你准备的搭讪台词

你的 5 个表情符号
你的新 Twitter 简介
白天是满身灰的水管工,晚上画沮丧美少女和奇怪小旗。曾把头发上的工地粉尘捏成黏土,从此决定多洗头也多画画。– @TheBIGCheese747

你的招牌鸡尾酒
这杯酒既要像他当水管工的生活一样又累又烈,也要带点学究幻想和宗教情怀,所以用高酒精度波本打底,代表他在工地被烫伤、被屎溅、累到想辞职的日常——比如他吐槽“I'm so tired of being a plumber, I don't want to do it anymore”时的那种疲惫。冷萃咖啡象征他常常失眠、做怪梦、精神恍惚,又一边听 Slowdive 一边画画,用存在危机来“提升画技”,对应他写的“By listening to enough Slowdive, I can induce a mild existential crisis which improves my drawing slightly”。接骨木花利口酒则是他对温柔事物的向往:漂亮的传教士小姐姐、好闻干净的女孩子、需要一起看老电影的妻子,以及动不动就“Need arthoe gf”之类的婚恋妄想。柠檬皮与迷迭香的苦香,是他对世界“retarded”的愤怒和嘴臭——从“I hate Las Vegas, worst city in America”到“I'm straight up about to lose it over this public lands bill. Everything about is so unbelievably retarded”——但依然有一点清醒的幽默感。最后少量苏打水象征他偶尔乐观又虔诚的一面:愿意为他人祈祷、在复活节祝福朋友、在停电时点灯读书,像他写的“Happy Easter, friends! He is risen!”和“Guess I'll read by the candlelight for the rest of the night”那样,在一地灰尘和噪音里保留一点起泡的浪漫。

你的霍格沃茨学院
从这些推文看,他最核心的特质是高度的思考欲望和审美/创作驱动,而不是典型的勇斗型、老黄牛型或功利野心型。他多次表达对“学术”“学者气质”的向往,比如在“I struggle to abandon the fantasy of being an astute, mid century academic [picture]”和“I hate that higher education is so fake and gay now. I always wanted to be a 'scholar' (Marcille is unrelated to the content of this post) [picture]”中,都清楚显示出他对知识性、自省生活的浪漫想象,而这正是拉文克劳式的精神气质。他对艺术创作的执着和自我反思也非常明显:如“By listening to enough Slowdive, I can induce a mild existential crisis which improves my drawing slightly [picture]”、“I have not been drawing, I have been playing No Man's Sky [picture]”、“Friends, please forgive me for not posting art recently. I have been working on figure studies and I did not think they would be appropriate for the tl [picture]”,说明他会用审美体验和存在主义式的思考来推进自己的创作,而不是仅仅为博流量。与此同时,他对生活和自我有很多元的观察与调侃:比如对公共政策的批判“I'm straight up about to lose it over this public lands bill. Everything about is so unbelievably retarded [picture]”、对现代生活品味与审美的偏好“We need to return to the grooming standards of the 1940s. I wish I had a job that I could wear a three piece suit to everyday [picture] [quoted tweet]”,体现出一种爱思考、爱比较、带点怪癖的理性冷眼。他确实也有霍格沃茨其他学院的影子:像是在工作压力下的抱怨和自嘲“I'm so tired of being a plumber, I don't want to do it anymore [picture]”中表现出赫奇帕奇式的勤恳与疲惫;在强烈渴望婚姻与传统家庭的推文,如“Everything is so retarded, I just want a wife [picture]”里,隐约有一点斯莱特林式对个人人生版图的强烈规划欲。但综合来看,他的核心驱动力是内向的思辨、对旧式学者与美学生活的向往,以及通过画画、音乐、文学(如“By John Keats [picture]”)来消化世界与自我,这种“脑内活动远多于现实操作”的形象,与拉文克劳特质最为契合。

你的电影

你的歌曲
他一边做着辛苦又脏累的体力活,一边持续表达对现状的厌倦,很像 No Surprises 里对庸碌生活的温柔绝望,例如他说自己“I'm so tired of being a plumber, I don't want to do it anymore”"I'm so tired of being a plumber, I don't want to do it anymore [picture]"。他频繁提到工作让他身心俱疲,比如“my hair was so thick with dust I could mold it like clay”"When I got home from work today, my hair was so thick with dust I could mold it like clay [picture] [quoted tweet]",以及被烧伤、被粪便弄脏的可能性"I have to be up an hour early tomorrow for the incredible privilege of getting covered in human feces (maybe) [picture] [quoted tweet]",都对应了歌里对“麻木上班日常”的厌烦。与此同时,他又渴望一个更安静、更整洁、更有审美品位的小生活——比如“need a wife to feed me”"I think I would starve if I lived alone, need a wife to feed me [picture]" 和对1940年代西装、老电影、老学者气质的向往"We need to return to the grooming standards of the 1940s. I wish I had a job that I could wear a three piece suit to everyday [picture] [quoted tweet]"。他对现代城市、租房市场和高等教育充满厌恶与无力感——“I hate Las Vegas, worst city in America”"I hate Las Vegas, worst city in America [picture]"、“The rental market is making me violently depressed”"The rental market is making me violently depressed [picture]"——这和歌里那种对当代世界温吞却深刻的绝望感高度契合。最后,他在宗教与美术中寻找一点点安静和救赎感,比如请求大家祈祷、画水彩、拍自然风景"I am sorry I have not been very active lately, I have been quite sick. I promise I will try and draw something worth posting as recompense. For now, here's some nice pictures I took: [2 pictures]",正像 No Surprises 那样,用温柔、内敛的方式表达对更安宁生活的渴望。

你的时间旅行目的地

你的电子游戏

你的灵魂动物

你的(不)好笑的笑话

你的超能力

你的虚构最佳朋友

你的梦想假期

你的备选职业道路

你的名人匹配